Girl, crying or laughing: I just can't believe you love me; I have shown up on your doorstep so fucking wasted.
Guy: Baby, you found a plastic fork in your panties! It's okay! Anyway, it was not one of your better nights.
Girl: Actually, it was one of my better nights.
Mission District
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Judylicious
Girl: So my jaw hurts really bad, right here. (points)
Boy: Maybe you stop sucking so much dick.
Girl, thinking for a second: Many dicks.
Bennington College
Vermont
Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
Guy: Oh my god, she hates me!
Girl: What? Why?
Guy: Cause I'm the kid who threw a sandwich at her!
Tacoma, Washington
Girl on cell inside convenience store: Why the hell did she get it under her titty? Ain't nobody gonna see it under her titty!
Bowling Green, Ohio
Trendy girl on cell: It was stuck to my boob this morning. I had to go clean it off… it was all bloody and gross. (pause) Right on my boob. I know… Eew!
University of Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Sarah Neill
Guy: Do you know how I know you were singing correctly?
Girl: You saw me sucking in my stomach?
Guy: No. When you started spitting at me!
Girl: I can't help that I have great diction!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
Girl #1: With the right emphasis, anything can sound dirty.
Girl #2: I'll jump on your trampoline.
Girl #1: I'll park in your car park.
Girl #2: I'll reverse up your back alley.
(pause)
Girl #2: I think it just got too literal.
Girl #1: Me too.
Sydney
Australia
Girl at party: These people are so disgusting! One guy actually called dibs on me.
Guy, loudly: Yeah, these people are douchebags.
Girl: Shhhh! They'll hear you!
Guy: So what?
Girl: Then they'll think I'm the one that brought all the weird people to the party.
Guy: You did.
Girl: But I don't want them to know that!
Random party guy: Yeah, dude, stop. You're embarrassing her in front of all the people she hates.
Columbus, Ohio
