Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that's the only ass I would lick even if it wasn't clean.
Washington, DC
Flaming gay over speakerphone: Just like that boy from Miami last night, I tried to suck his dick like I was trying to win an Olympic gold medal. And that's the only ass I would lick even if it wasn't clean.
Washington, DC
Casual guy: It’s amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They’re like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.
Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Yapplebee
Man on cell: I can't dust your house today, I'm dusting Amanda's. (pause) No, I'm dusting yours tomorrow. (very long pause) Well, then I don't know why I'm carrying around this dust-rag, I feel silly!
7-Eleven
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Madeline
Salesman to guy purchasing new phone: Yeah, we can totally transfer all your contacts and calendar and stuff to this new phone.
Guy (in English accent): Well, can you do that on this other model?
Salesman: No, you can't transfer your contacts from your old one to this model.
Guy (in English accent): Oh, that doesn't matter. I don't have any friends.
Austin, Texas
Older man to friend: I don't like being murdered! Do you know how it feels like to be murdered? Trust me, you don't want to know. I'm always being murdered.
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: uhh am I seeing ghosts?
Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They're my testicles… No! My… My… Test–test… The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles…
High School
Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
Loud man: …and he wakes me up at night licking my eyelids!
Siam Orchid
Manchester, New Hampshire
High school freshman: I once knew a guy who knew a guy who was a cyclops!
Kenosha, Wisconsin
