Hipsters

Lady suit: I hate to say it, but Harry Potter’s penis is small.
Hipster girl: What! Nooo!
Lady suit: No, really — it is. He got an erection on stage… and it was just sad. But the weirdest part is that it was bright red, like they had put blush on it or something.
Hipster girl: What the fuck?! My dreams are ruined!

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/goblet-of-fire.html

Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Why don't we try to use the formula for finding the location of two galaxies next to one another?
Hipster boy in ironic winter hat: Why would we do that? We're trying to find the age of the universe. You're the worst partner ever.
Frumpy Hermionesque girl: Fuck you, I'm going to find the age of the universe on my own!

Undergraduate Library
University of Michigan

Overheard by: Todd

Pretty hipster in lab: It's cold in here and it's also not hot outside.
Pretty nerd in lab: Shouldn't the thrill of science keep you warm?
Pretty hipster in lab: That's such a stupid thing to say…

Cornell University
Ithaca, New York

Overheard by: Warm for Science

Heavily tattooed man: She got this new haircut; it's short, but it's kind of… awkward.
Heavily tattooed woman: Like a bowl cut?
Heavily tattooed man: No, kind of like… What's-his-name, from Scooby Doo.
Heavily tattooed woman: Velma?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: jira monkey

Fat hipster girl: Do you know we didn't even get to see half the animals?
Skinny hipster guy: Dude, they don't have any sexy animals here.

Smithsonian National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Lola Carmichael

Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins

Customer: Is this a cheese danish?
Hipster barista: It's lemon creme…kind of cheesy, I guess.
Customer: Is it good?
Hipster barista: Kind of… It's subjective.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Scruffy hipster dude on cell: I'm tired of selling sex. I just want to sell jeans… Or something along those lines.

Seattle, Washington

20-something hipster guy: There was the big drill for the alcoholic… Then they busted out the small drill and it was like… woah!

Coffee Shop
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Vanessa

Hipster in “Vatican Chainsaw Massacre” t-shirt: And the thing is, dude, I just… (sighs) …I just don't really care about waffles, you know?

Queen Street West
Toronto
Canadia