Student #1: So what do you think, eh?
Student #2: Are you Canadian?
Student #1: Why in the world are you asking me that? Is it because I said “eh”?
Student #2: Well, yeah.
Student #1: That is a total misconception! Not all Canadians end sentences with the word “eh”! I can’t believe you think that!
Student #2: (thinking it over) So are you?
Student #1: Canadian? Yes.
Wabash
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Laughing as I pass
Queer #1: Ugh. All I know is that pussy smells like ass. I tried once in high school, and I was all, ‘Oooh, that smells like ass!’ and so I tried one more time, and it still smelled like ass.
Queer #2: Well, we know one thing for sure — your ass must smell like pussy.
Cleo’s, Chicago Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: EEE
Woman: I wish I hadn’t had hooters for breakfast!
Fitting Room
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Guy to girl: You just give off that vibe that says “make fun of me!”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: marisawin
Nerd guy: Did you get a haircut?
Indie girl: No. Why?
Nerd guy: Your bangs are on the other side.
Indie girl: Oh, I didn’t shower today.
Godfrey, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Man: You don’t need that booze!
Woman: I know, but I’m getting it.
Man: Just don’t drink the fun out of it.
Edwardsville, Illinois
Overheard by: M
Girl to friend: I can’t believe I fell asleep next to your vagina. I woke up and my face was next to your brick wall. [Kisses friend.] I love your brick wall.
Caribou Coffee
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Man to another, letting him board bus first: I always say, ‘Age before beauty.‘
Bus driver: I always say, ‘Somebody get on the damn bus.’
Bus, Belmont Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Small Mexican man in hot dog suit: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me.
20-ish chick waiting to cross street: No, thank you.
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me, eat me!
20-ish chick: No, really — thank you, but I’ll pass. [Muttering] God, will this light ever change?!
Hot dog man: Eat me, eat me, eat me!
Wrigley Field
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Cubs Fan
Guy on cell: Hey… Rainy… Ummm, well, yeah I’ve kind of played with it, but not to fruition. Hold on, I’m on the L in Chicago. Hey, guys, Jeff* wants to know if you’ve ever masturbated while driving on a long car trip.
Friend #1: No.
Friend #2: No.
Guy on cell: Nick* and Joe* say no. Hey, um, I gotta go…
Chicago L
Illinois
Overheard by: J to the P
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
