…Is the Gist Of My Anthropology Paper.

Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.

Illinois State University

Overheard by: Eddy

Posted on September 24, 2010
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Frat boy types, Health & Hygiene, Illinois, Penis

Dude, I Still Haven't Forgiven You for the Tijuana Debacle

Man describing play: You've never seen anything better then two sock puppets diddling each other.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 26, 2010
Compare and contrast, Guys, Illinois, Sex, Weirdness

Next Stop: “Placenta Brain”

Bride-to-be: Oh my god! I'm totally getting wedding-day head!
Friend: Oooh! Is that like before the ceremony or after?
Bride-to-be: Huh?
Groomsman: Does the groom get some head too?
Friend: Hell no! That shit stops once they're married!
Bride-to-be: What? Oh my god, you guys! I meant I'm getting nervous!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 9, 2010
BJs, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Questions, Relationships, Words

Presenting: the Difference Between Straight and Really Straight

Guy #1, wiping sweat off forehead: Dude, if we hook up with any o' these broads tonight, there's no way we could go down on them.
Guy #2, slamming rest of his drink: Well, maybe you wouldn't. Personally, I don't mind a little gravy on the roast beef.
Guy #1: Jesus, that's fuckin' sick, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?

Six Degrees Bar
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Big D

Posted on August 6, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Comebacks, Drinking & drunks, Food, Guys, Illinois, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Questions

Grasshoppers Always Think They're Cooler Than Ants

20-something suit: They act like they are advancing and getting ahead just because they are always on time. I said “whatever, I'm still cooler than you.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: An overachiever

Posted on August 2, 2010
Compare and contrast, Illinois, Suits, Time Management

Is That in the Rules Somewhere?

Girl #1 to guy: Oh, shut up! Be nice to me! I'm marrying your brother! Which means I'm gonna be like your sister!
Girl #2 to guy: Which means you won't be able to have sex with her anymore!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on August 1, 2010
Compare and contrast, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Relationships, Sex

What Are You Doing in Community College?

Black guy: Hey! What country you from?
Asian girl: Um… America?
Black guy: You look Chinese.
Asian girl: I am?

Community College
Godfrey, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on June 29, 2010
Asians, Black people, Colleges & Universities, Illinois, Questions, Race

…Haven't You Seen America's Next Top Muslim?

Guy on cell: Or maybe Mohammad is just less photogenic than Jesus.

Hyde Park
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Anya

Posted on June 19, 2010
Compare and contrast, Guys, Illinois, Jesus, On the phone, Religion

But I Didn't Back Up Over It. That's Gay.

English major #1: So, I totally ran over a snake today.
English major #2: Was it an anaconda?
English major #1: I don't know… It was a snake!
English major #3: Was it a grass snake?
English major #2: Was it a trouser snake?
English major #1: Yes. I ran over a penis.

Southern Illinois University
Edwardsville, Edwardsville, Illinois

Overheard by: M

Posted on June 2, 2010
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Illinois, Penis, Students

“Ethics Of Video Games?” Excuse Us.

Ethics of video games professor: And that's why they stoned women in the middle ages. Brunette, whispering: I think he gets off on video games.
Blonde, whispering: Ham?
Brunette, whispering: Him!
Blonde, whispering: I am not a ham!
(both girls start laughing)
Professor: Excuse me?

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Margo

Posted on May 3, 2010
Class, Getting off, Girls, Illinois, Teachers, Words