Illinois

Guy#1: I just don't like shaved vaginas. They creep me out. I got down there and I was like “Oh”!
Guy#2: Yeah, you have the prickle factor.
Guy#1: There was no prickle factor…

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Josh

Drunk guy, spotting friend on street on New Year's Eve: Dude, hi! What day is it?
Friend, also drunk: Uh, Friday.
Drunk guy: Monday! You and me and a mountain of weed!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Terry B

Guy: I'm going to sneeze!
Girl, getting in his face: Think about bananas! Think about bananas! You won't sneeze.
Religion professor: Just like thinking about bananas won't get you pregnant…

College
Rock Island, Illinois

Overheard by: I like bananas….

Father: Did you hear about how McCain called his wife the c-word in front of a bunch of reporters?
Daughter: Well, in fairness to him, she probably is one.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Guy: Trust me, I'm a gay scientist!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Disheveled suit on cell: Hey, I've decided to go home and start drinking. (pause) Yeah, I think Jim, Jack, and Jose can help me work through my problems.

River North
Chicago, Illinois

Blue collar guy on lunch break: Does she use a strap-on or does she have something that pops out like a turtle head?

Northwestern Law School
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: What a Horrible Visual

Drunk girl: I love the boners that sound like sandwiches! Boner on wheat, boner on rye… That's pretty much it.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.

Illinois State University

Overheard by: Eddy

Man describing play: You've never seen anything better then two sock puppets diddling each other.

Chicago, Illinois