Father: Did you hear about how McCain called his wife the c-word in front of a bunch of reporters?
Daughter: Well, in fairness to him, she probably is one.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Father: Did you hear about how McCain called his wife the c-word in front of a bunch of reporters?
Daughter: Well, in fairness to him, she probably is one.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Guy: Trust me, I'm a gay scientist!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Disheveled suit on cell: Hey, I've decided to go home and start drinking. (pause) Yeah, I think Jim, Jack, and Jose can help me work through my problems.
River North
Chicago, Illinois
Blue collar guy on lunch break: Does she use a strap-on or does she have something that pops out like a turtle head?
Northwestern Law School
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: What a Horrible Visual
Drunk girl: I love the boners that sound like sandwiches! Boner on wheat, boner on rye… That's pretty much it.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.
Illinois State University
Overheard by: Eddy
Man describing play: You've never seen anything better then two sock puppets diddling each other.
Chicago, Illinois
Bride-to-be: Oh my god! I'm totally getting wedding-day head!
Friend: Oooh! Is that like before the ceremony or after?
Bride-to-be: Huh?
Groomsman: Does the groom get some head too?
Friend: Hell no! That shit stops once they're married!
Bride-to-be: What? Oh my god, you guys! I meant I'm getting nervous!
Chicago, Illinois
Guy #1, wiping sweat off forehead: Dude, if we hook up with any o' these broads tonight, there's no way we could go down on them.
Guy #2, slamming rest of his drink: Well, maybe you wouldn't. Personally, I don't mind a little gravy on the roast beef.
Guy #1: Jesus, that's fuckin' sick, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Six Degrees Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
20-something suit: They act like they are advancing and getting ahead just because they are always on time. I said “whatever, I'm still cooler than you.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: An overachiever
