Extremely diabetic professor: Now that I have to get another artificial leg, I can be as tall as I want!
Math Department
University of Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Suzz
Extremely diabetic professor: Now that I have to get another artificial leg, I can be as tall as I want!
Math Department
University of Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Suzz
Game watcher: Well, this is where the Bears turn it on. When the tough get going the going gets tough. (pregnant silence) Well, I guess it's the other way around. I suppose it works either way, right?
Christina's Place
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Shrek
Girl on train helping her friend study: Think of a baby crawling back into the vagina and popping out again. That's the renaissance.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sitting in front of them for an hour on the train
Professor: So how many inches do you think are in a foot?
Student: Oh I'd say about 100.
Professor (speaking to class): I love picking on the foreign kids on the first day of class.
Normal, Illinois
Overheard by: AJ
Gay man: So, did you end up fucking that guy from eHarmony?
Blondie: Sort of. When I was blowing him he told me to stop and I said, “No way, I'm just getting started!” And then he said, “Seriously, stop, I don't want to blow in your face.”
Gay man: That's like true love. You should use that story for your eHarmony commercial.
Central Illinois
Guy #1: That Coke you're drinking is about three years old.
Guy #2: (spits out soda)
Guy #1: And that beer's at least eight years old.
Guy #2: What are you running here? A beverage museum?
Chicago, Illinois
Bible thumper pointing at chick: You're the master baiter!
University Quad
Illinois State
Overheard by: a fellow masterbater
Woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it's me. I just wanted to let you know that I ate an entire bag of salad last night for dinner. Um…it was like three servings. Okay, call me later.
Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Patrick
