Hence the Babies

Hispanic teenager with baby, yelling out of bus doors: You're an icy bitch!
Chinese woman, muttering loudly: Fucking immigrants.

Bus Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: another immigrant

Posted on February 10, 2009
Bus, Compare and contrast, Default, Foreigners, Girls, Illinois, Insults, Race, Women

Your Editors Have a Soft Spot for Girls Who Say “Suitors”

Slutty looking girl: I want to send a bulletin to all my male suitors: “you will not be getting into my pants by texting me and asking me to give you a back massage. The bum who told me god did a beautiful job making my legs this morning had a better chance.”

Ogilvie Train Station
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on January 29, 2009
Body parts, Clothes, Default, Girls, God, Illinois, Texting, Train

Perfect for an Institution of Higher Learning

Extremely diabetic professor: Now that I have to get another artificial leg, I can be as tall as I want!

Math Department
University of Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Suzz

Posted on January 21, 2009
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Illinois, Maladies, Teachers, Weirdness

The Bush Administration Never Understood the Difference

Game watcher: Well, this is where the Bears turn it on. When the tough get going the going gets tough. (pregnant silence) Well, I guess it's the other way around. I suppose it works either way, right?

Christina's Place
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Shrek

Posted on January 4, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Illinois, Weirdness, Words

Whereas the Middle Ages Were More Like Getting Ear-Fucked Repeatedly

Girl on train helping her friend study: Think of a baby crawling back into the vagina and popping out again. That's the renaissance.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sitting in front of them for an hour on the train

Posted on December 15, 2008
Advice, Birthing, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, History, Illinois, Train, Weirdness

Um, I'm from Kansas

Professor: So how many inches do you think are in a foot?
Student: Oh I'd say about 100.
Professor (speaking to class): I love picking on the foreign kids on the first day of class.

Normal, Illinois

Overheard by: AJ

Posted on December 3, 2008
Default, Education, Illinois, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Weirdness

But Leave Out the Part Where He Blew and Said “Haha, Fooled Ya!”

Gay man: So, did you end up fucking that guy from eHarmony?
Blondie: Sort of. When I was blowing him he told me to stop and I said, “No way, I'm just getting started!” And then he said, “Seriously, stop, I don't want to blow in your face.”
Gay man: That's like true love. You should use that story for your eHarmony commercial.

Central Illinois

Posted on November 9, 2008
BJs, Default, Feelings, Girls, Illinois, Internet, Queers, Questions, Sex

In the Beverage Museum Hospitality Room

Guy #1: That Coke you're drinking is about three years old.
Guy #2: (spits out soda)
Guy #1: And that beer's at least eight years old.
Guy #2: What are you running here? A beverage museum?

Chicago, Illinois