Composition professor: So, by the way, this is how your do the top of the paper–title, dash, name, just like this paper here. I don't want a four-page paper which is three and a half pages long, with a half-page heading.
Student: But it's standard MLA citation practice for that heading to be like that.
Professor: Fuck MLA.
Hofstra University
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: I hate MLA
Emphatic woman: See? That's why this is your first marriage!
Sherman Oaks, California
Indignant little boy: Beethoven is not creepy!
Little girls, in unison: Yes he is!
Melrose, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Flight attendant: And if you have smelly, I mean “small” children with you, you may disembark before other passengers. Thank you for flying Jetstar, we hope to see your ugly, I mean “lovely” faces again.
Jetstar Flight
Australia
Scruffy 20-something guy on cell: I don't care what you do, just leave my fucking rats alone!
Eureka, California
Overheard by: Barry Evans
Bro #1: Dude, the best deep throat I ever got.
Bro #2: Yeah, dude, does her mom mind?
Bro #1: Yeah, but just cause she's 14, though. Whatever. I'll just find me a better bitch.
San Diego, California
Dorm guy: I said “thanks for the help,” but I should have said, “thanks for the help, asshole, I hope they send you back to China.”
Michigan State University
Student emerging from bathroom to self: I hate those frickin' androids…
Brookdale Community College
New Jersey
Overheard by: Whiskeysaurus
Elderly man: This abstinence shit the Republicans get on about… Abstinence my ass! I've been looking at girls since I was 11. I mean: come on, the Virgin Mary is crying!
North Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Sara
Teacher holding VCR remote control: I keep hitting play, this stupid thing won't work. Must need new batteries.
(changes batteries)
Teacher: Damn thing still won't work, you'd think they would buy machines that work, how are you supposed to learn with such crappy materials?
Student in front row: Ummm… Is that the tape on top of the VCR?
Teacher: Goddamn it!
Manchester, New Hampshire
