Teen girl #1: I don't get why they put “eat it” by the cheerleaders.
Teen girl #2: Me neither. You can't, like, eat cheers.
Teen girl #1: Yeah… But you can eat cheerleaders.
High School
Kansas
Teen girl #1: I don't get why they put “eat it” by the cheerleaders.
Teen girl #2: Me neither. You can't, like, eat cheers.
Teen girl #1: Yeah… But you can eat cheerleaders.
High School
Kansas
Guy in stall #1: Hi, how are you?
Guy in stall #2: Fine. Thanks.
Guy in stall #1: So what are you up to?
Guy in stall #2: Uh, the same as you.
Guy in stall #1: Can I come over?
Guy in stall #2: What the hell? I'm a little busy right now, freak!
Guy in stall #1: Listen, let me call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering my questions.
Restaurant Bathroom
Manhattan, New York
College girl #1: I have never taken my shirt off!
College girl #2: Wait, didn't you wear a see-through one before?
College girl #1: That was you, you whore!
UC Santa Cruz
California
Overheard by: Eric
Girl #1 to friend wearing tank top, booty shoes, and 3-inch heels: Girl, I don't know what they be sayin. You do not look like no hoe.
Girl #2, passing by, to friend: Hoe.
High School
Washington State
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: Fuck you! Fuck you, you hellspawn of Satan! You diseased monkey fucking dog wanking shitcunt!
Man, passing by: Pardon?
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: You heard me, you twat! You cocksucking pedophile wanker! (turning to passing woman) Excuse me my dear, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but could you spare a pound?
Woman, passing by: Sorry, no.
Bearded elderly Irish tramp: God bless you! (turns back to passing man) Go fuck yourself, you cunt! I'll vomit on your fucking dog!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.
College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Young suit to crying baby he's holding at arm's length: You were a terrible investment.
Young woman: Stop saying that!
Young suit: If he doesn't stop crying, I'm literally going to give him to the next person who is willing.
Young woman, taking the baby: He should be crying. You're an idiot!
Young suit: The sale has now become two for one.
Toys R Us
Bear, Delaware
Angry woman on cell: That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard! (pause) How are you even still alive?! How is it that the process of natural selection hasn't weeded you out by now? How have you made it this far through life being that stupid?
Sugar Hill, Georgia
Guy #1, wiping sweat off forehead: Dude, if we hook up with any o' these broads tonight, there's no way we could go down on them.
Guy #2, slamming rest of his drink: Well, maybe you wouldn't. Personally, I don't mind a little gravy on the roast beef.
Guy #1: Jesus, that's fuckin' sick, man! What the fuck is wrong with you?
Six Degrees Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
Serious guy: There is no… fucking… applesauce!
Dining Hall
UC, Santa Cruz
Overheard by: Willing to bet there's no regular applesauce either
