College dude: She needs to get her fuckin’ face smashed in. She’s such a stupid bitch.
Friend: Who?
College dude: Janet*. I fuckin’ hate her. This is fuckin’ bullshit. [To other friend across the library] Hey, shut the fuck up down there!
577 Western Avenue
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Annie
Dude #1: Hey man, wanna go get some things pregnant?
Dude #2: Um. What? What kind of things?
Dude #1: Just stuff. Whatever we find.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Guy #1: I totally told her I wasn’t with anyone else on my cruise, but I clearly slept with another girl!
Guy #2: Victory!
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: shannon
Dude: You should know — I’m into government intervention into every aspect of life.
Passerby: Such a fag.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Obnoxious 20-something chick: We went to a Yankees game and had the worst seats ever. We didn’t even see Derek Jeter’s ass! … Or anyone’s ass.
IHOP
Green Bay, Wisconsin
Dude #1: So, I guess they’re selling coffee and samosas or whatever in that hallway in McConnell again.
Dude #2: Oh yeah? That’s usually pretty cheap. Hey, is it for charity?
Dude #1: Yeah, I think so.
Dude #2: Oh. Well, fuck that, then.
Dude #1: Seriously.
http://overheardatmcgill.com/
Girl: I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Sound of Music. You have to watch that.
Guy: Fuck that. I wouldn’t watch that movie if you watched it with me, and we were going to fuck afterward.
Mankato, Minnesota
Mother: Why do people like you?
Teen daughter: What?!
Mother: I mean, why do people like to talk to you and be your friend? I just don’t get it.
Fairfax, California
Man to girl he’s trying to hit on: [Flashes American Express card] What does this mean to you?
Girl: … It means you’re a douche.
Edendale Grill
Los Angeles, California
Late 20s drone in front of train operator’s door: Excuse me, can you move forward? The operator said I’m blocking the window.
Late 40s suit: No, you move forward. This is my spot.
Late 20s drone: We’re both blocking the window, and I can’t move unless you do.
Late 40s suit: I’m not moving.
Late 20s drone, groaning: You’re an ass.
Late 40s suit: No, you’re an ass.
Late 20s drone, pushing past: Oh, fuck you.
Late 40s suit, mocking: Oh, fuck you.
Late 20s drone: Good luck in third grade.
BART train, Bay Point – Daly City line
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: baby boomers must die
