Kids

Six-year-old girl, gyrating hips: Mommy! Mommy! This is how babies are made!
Mother: That’s nice.

Gap Store, Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, California

Overheard by: this is why I don’t shop at the gap

Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.

Glendale Heights, Illinois

Overheard by: rbmmom

Mother, shouting at her child: You get mad at me for the things I don’t do, and you never appreciate the things I do do!
Little girl: Hahaha, you said doodoo!

Los Angeles, California

Little boy #1: [Makes peeing sound, pretends to pee.]Little boy #2: That’s nothing! Feel the wrath of my penis!!

Macy’s in Fashion Square Mall
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stephanie

Little boy: But I don’t care about the dead guys anymore!

Washington Monument
Washington, DC

Little boy to his mother: Why is everybody white and I’m brown?

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Six-year-old kid: Will you come over to our place?
Mom’s friend: No.
Six-year-old kid: Why not?
Mom’s friend: Because you’re annoying.
Mom: See? I told you!

Fabric Store
DeKalb, Illinois

Woman, after bring run by kid: Oh, a human male child just ran by me.

Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: Random Dude

Little boy to big sister walking behind him: Do you believe in Santa?
Big sister: No! Keep walking.
[big sister shoves him].
Little brother: I heard Santa dislikes girls.

County Fair
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jake

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM