Kids

Two-year-old, pointing at car: Mercedes!

Putt-Putt Mini Golf
Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: McF

Dad in locker room, to son: Jake, take your pants off.
Five-year-old son, singing: Take your pants off, do the ducky-ducky.
Dad: Jake!
Five-year-old son: Take your pants off, do the something-something.

Newport Athletic Club
Middletown, Rhode Island

Little girl: I’ll tell you what my daddy looks like. He has eyeglasses and he’s a woman.

Car dealer
Midwest City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Reiza

Boy: I wish everything in the world was made of chocolate.
Grandfather: That would sure be interesting!
Boy: Yeah. Then I could eat my brother…

Waterford, Michigan

Overheard by: Gary Lewis

Mother: So, what did you learn at nursery today?
Excited four-year-old girl: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck-fuck!
Mother: Every time you say that, one of Santa’s elves dies, you know.

London
England

Four-year-old boy: So, girls have ‘ginas, and boys have penises?
Mom: Um, yes, hon.
Four-year-old boy: You have a ‘gina?
Mom: Yes, honey. Shhh.
Four-year-old boy: Girls at school have ‘ginas? Teachers have ‘ginas?
Mom: Yes, honey. Now shush.
Four-year-old boy, contemplating: I always wanted to see one of those.

Phoenix, Arizona

Kid in cafeteria: Yeah, that was the night we watched Shrek and made love for the first time.

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Cammie

Chick: Oh my god, look at this baby! It is so ugly! I didn’t think babies were allowed to be ugly!

University of Denver
Denver, Colorado

Little boy looking at zebra with erection: Mommy, five legs?
Mom: Yes, honey, five legs.

San Diego Zoo
San Diego, California

Overheard by: Kim and Amy

Young girl: Where is your husband?
Old woman: Oh, honey, my husband is up in heaven.
Young girl: I’m sorry… Did he get eaten by a crocodile?

Flight to Bermuda

Overheard by: elizabeth