Lies

Fashionista: Why are you so late?
Queer in hat: I ran out of money and had to give the cabbie a blowjob to pay the fare.
Fashionista: Oh my god! Really?!
Queer in hat: No. I had a hair emergency… But wasn’t that a much better answer?

Ellus fashion show line
São Paulo
Brazil

Woman to boyfriend: Get back here so I can take a picture of you lying to me!

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Trying not to spit soda from my nose

Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Girl #1: I got a lot of color without being in the sun very much; just in the car.
Girl #2: I'm so jealous!
Girl #1: Well, I also went to the tanning salon…

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Little boy, standing next to a car: Daddy, this isn’t our car! Daddy, what are you doing? This isn’t our car!
Man: Look, buddy, you’ve got to stop saying that when we’re in parking lots. [to a couple walking by] I just got a new car.
Little boy: No you didn’t!

AMC Theatres
Owings Mills, Maryland

Overheard by: they steal cars, dont they?

Panhandler: Do you have any change? I need money. My old lady kicked me out. I need money for a penis… reduction… It’s too big, and she kicked me out. She said not to come back until–
Man: –No.

http://weirdosofwinnipeg.blogspot.com/2006/06/no-i-dont-want-to-see-it.html

Professor: Even my own mother tells people I’m a drug dealer.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

High school freshman: I once knew a guy who knew a guy who was a cyclops!

Kenosha, Wisconsin

Mom: I don't know what I should get for him. He likes video games and that kind of stuff. I got him a GameCube last year and he loves it.
Five-year-old child (looks away from game display, shocked): But you told me Santa got me the GameCube!

Best Buy
Seattle, Washington