30-something at table with friends: I'm telling you! Children are like one of those STDs that you have to live with for the rest of your life. They're like herpes or HIV. They will never, ever, ever go away. They will ruin your life.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: So fucking teue
Guy about to buy beer: ID? ID? I'm 56-motherfucking-years-old! I don't need no ID! (reaches into cart and pulls out items) Here's my damn ID! I'm buying hemorrhoid cream and Fixodent!
Winn Dixie
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: betsy
Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step…
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
Crazy lady with fanny pack, after hearing “Emotion” by the Bee Gees on loudspeaker: Love is not an emotion!
Wal-Mart
Oakdale, Louisiana
Overheard by: Vicky
Student: Did you know that you can live off of student loans?
Professor: No, you can't.
Student: Yeah. All you do is just keep going back to school, and they'll pay for everything.
Professor: But eventually you'll have to pay them back.
Student: Not if you die.
Nicholls State University
Louisiana
Man #1: How you been?
Man #2: Pretty good.
Man #1: How's your wife?
Man #2: Aggravating.
Church
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Girl #1: Corey's* got a treatment scheduled for Monday.
Girl #2: What's wrong with him?
Guy: Nothing.
Girl #1: He's got cancer.
Guy: He's fine. People get cancer all the time.
Nicholls State University
Thibodaux, Louisiana
Professor, eyeing student in class: Watch out, snuggie-girl. I'm on to you!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Guy #1: My boss, who's a Shaolin monk, told me if I saved his school, he'd pay off my loans. He was like “I pay off 1.5 million dollar debt!” and then, for a while, I was dealing with the Russian mafia, so I've been pretty busy.
Guy #2: Man… Your life is like a movie. It's like Karate Kid 15 or something.
Tulane University
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: iwouldtotallywatchthatmovie
High maintenance chick #1: You know, the French quarter at Disney is so much better than this.
High maintenance chick #2: Yeah, right, huh? This place is so dirty!
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: yeah, that big storm and all…
