Orange-shirted Lutheran youth: I feel something…
Overcompensating Lutheran chaperon: What did you feel? Is it inside? Maybe it's Jesus. (pause) Is Jesus talking to you? What did he say? (waves hands in air) Praise Jesus!
Orange-shirted Lutheran youth: I think he said you should stop telling people he touches them.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Untouched
Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.
Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Dramatic teenage girl: Um, we would like an Awesome Blossom, extra awesome.
Unhappy waitress: We don't serve that anymore.
Dramatic teenage girl: Yes, you do. Don't lie to me, lady.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Suit on cell: But yeah, concrete is the future.
Metairie Road
Metairie, Louisiana
Overheard by: What happened to plastic?
Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin' up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas.
Louisiana
Overheard by: 2 tables over
Catholic school girl #1: (sings “Total Eclipse of the Heart”)
Catholic school girl #2: Stop it. I swear to god, I will shank you.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Adelaie
Woman coming out of convenience store: They ain't got no Funyuns in there!
Man standing outside store: You got a bad attitude! I'ma put you in yo' place with ya old ass!
Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Flying Burrito
Young mother to four-year-old boy: C'mon, sweetie, let's wash your hands.
Sarcastic father: Yeah, dude, you're disgusting.
Boy (increasingly louder): Yes. I am disgusting. You know what else is disgusting? My penis!
IHOP
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: The Only Small Press in Bumfuck
