Moms

Mom singing to two small boys and a baby in stroller: One, two, three, four! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store!

Victoria’s Secret
Winchester, Virginia

Overheard by: Joanna

White mother to white toddler son: You're going to be black by the time we leave!

Grand Sierra Resort Pool
Reno, Nevada

Mom to girls at bar: You two are so cute. [To daughter’s friend] So, do you swing both ways?
Friend: Uhhh…
Daughter: Just ignore my mother. She’s really drunk and thinks I need a date.
Mom: I’m just trying. Do you think I don’t care about you?

Louisville, Kentucky

Teenage daughter: Mom, I have a plan for my future.
Mother: And what's that?
Teenage daughter: Save someone's life so they are indebted to me and will buy me the complete Twilight Zone boxed set.
Mother: Between this and your brother who I haven't seen in four days, I don't think I screwed up at all.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Whiny three-year-old: Mom! I'm hungry! I'm huuuungryyyyy!
Mother (calmly, without missing a beat): Well, you should probably shut up.

Target
Wausau, Wisconsin

Mother admonishing her child for sticking his head through the bars in a fence: You do not put your head through anything. Ever.

Disney World
Florida

Overheard by: Becca

Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.

Target
Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Amused Employee

Mother to son: I’m not sure, but I think grandma was high.

Union Station
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Seska

Mom: But, honey, it’s important that you look nice when you go to school and that everything matches.
Six-year-old girl: Mom, it’s not how I look that’s important — it’s about my education.

Wethersfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: too cute!

Mother: Why do people like you?
Teen daughter: What?!
Mother: I mean, why do people like to talk to you and be your friend? I just don’t get it.

Fairfax, California