Roller derby girl: … And it occurs to me that I’m 23 years old — I should probably shave my underarms.
Lucky 7’s
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Roller derby girl: … And it occurs to me that I’m 23 years old — I should probably shave my underarms.
Lucky 7’s
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy on cell: I got a face full of botulism! Look at me — I’m sexy!
New Jersey
Man playing fantasy board game: You can have as many pilgrims as you want!
Wegmans
Woodbridge, New Jersey
Life insurance rep: So how many cigarettes do you smoke a day?
Young woman: Oh, maybe like three or four…
Life insurance rep: Oh, that's cute.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Large black woman: They were the finest people on the block, but man, were their kids ugly!
Kohl's
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jyoshiki
Motorist at detour: What do you mean I have to go around? I can't go around! What's going on?
Frustrated firefighter: Fire Department activity sir.
Motorist: What kind of Fire Department activity?
Frustrated firefighter: Arts and crafts, sir. Move along.
Morris Plains, New Jersey
Overheard by: Pokey
Drunk gay guy: Where's my midget? I went upstairs and now I'm down here. Where's my midget? (checks under his shoes)
Feathers, New Jersey
Overheard by: K
Roid Rager, angrily: Nobody gives me the finger while I'm driving!
Hipster, calmly: Well, you need to slow down. It's a parking lot.
Roid Rager, enraged: You wanna do something about it?
Hipster: No. I'm not gonna fight you in front of Sears.
Rockaway Mall, New Jersey
Overheard by: Joe Bagodonuts
Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
Big-chested teenage girl: I would hate to date a magician. It would be like, “breasto change-o, I just took your boobs.”
Long Branch, New Jersey
