New Jersey

Guy on cell: First, you take your girlfriend out drinking. Then she’s getting tattoos and piercings. Now she’s hooking up with chicks. Are you seeing a pattern here?

Light Rail
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Teacher, holding up an ulna: Who can tell me what bone this is?
Student: A uterus!

Physiology class
New Jersey

Guy to hugely pregnant woman: There's a party Saturday–you should come after you give birth.

Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: pie

Dutch flight attendant, collecting airsick bags: Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Thank you. Vomit? Vomit, sir?

NWA Flight
Newark Airport, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ladle

20-something chick, pouring wine: I hear wine is a good cure for gonorrhea.

Tiger Noodles
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Brokeass Harem

Girl, looking at friend's aquarium: Why is there a carrot?! Is that what you've been feeding your snail?

Jersey City, New Jersey

Girl reading Dirty Japanese book to another: Oh, “fuck like rabbits”? “Yari… Ma… Kuru…” Is that how you pronounce it? Do I have the accent right?
(other girl pronounces it correctly in high pitched voice)
Girl: You make “fucking like rabbits” sound so cute and adorable!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Man: At least Canadian homosexuals take it up the ass.

Bar
New Jersey

Toddler, pointing to gigantic bin ball: Daddy!
Father: Oh, believe me kid, we don't need any more balls in our house.

Shoprite in Clark, New Jersey

Overheard by: allison

Blonde: … And then there was, like, this penis all up in my face, and I was like, ‘But I thought you were a girl…’

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Anna