New York

20-something girl: Those deviled eggs totally messed me up… Emotionally.

Manhattan, New York

Five-year-old daughter: Daddy, ask me some math questions.
Father: Okay, what is 4 x 4?
Five-year-old daughter: It's not 9!
Father: That's correct.

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Michael Moore

Boy #1 to boy #2, who is moving his chair: What the fuck are you doing?
Boy #2: I'm moving you out of the way so I can get by.
Boy #1: What? You could've just asked me to move.
Boy #2: Yeah, but I was trying to save you from having to do anything. Don't worry, I was gonna put you back.
Boy #1: Okay.
Boy #2: I hate when people move me and don't put me back.

Student Center, WCC
Valhalla, New York

Overheard by: Princess Diana

NYU guy in audience during group skits: PBR doesn't taste as good on a Sunday morning as it did last night at the party.
NYU girl in audience during group skits: Yeah, I'm like, “someone might as well just piss in my mouth instead.”

Rock Hill, New York

Overheard by: I think I'll still go with the PBR

Short girl: I studied the wrong vagina!
Curlie: Me too, but I studied the right penis.
Chem teacher: Uh…

Onteora, New York

Girl to group: You guys! Everyone who has not had this fetus in their rectum is still a virgin!

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Girl: You called me a slut and said you didn't want to talk to me anymore.
Guy: That was for show.

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Kaleena

Woman who's too old to work at McDonald's: So, you want cheese on your sausage, egg and cheese?
Customer: Umm… okay, sure, yeah.

Centereach, New York

Overbearing mother: Let her see you in the bra! She will make sure it fits correctly!
13-year-old girl, buying first bra: Mother, I'm not for sale!

Victoria's Secret
Long Island, New York

20-something gal: Can you believe September 11th was eight years ago?
20-something guy: Really? That long? Yeah, I guess it's true.
20-something gal: A lot's changed since then. We've both lost our virginity.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Will S.