Ohio

Library worker #1: Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: … What?
Library worker #1: The envelope. Do I have to lick it?
Library worker #2: You could tape it, I guess…
Library worker #1: Great, because after last night, I am totally out of saliva.

Main Library, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Chick: So, what did you and Kev do last night?
Sorostitute: We got drunk and had sex.
Chick: You’re a walking fucking disease.
Sorostitute: What? How am I supposed to know what I want unless I drunkenly sleep with a bunch of people I don’t want?

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!

Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio

Overheard by: Alex

Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!

Park
Cincinnati, Ohio

Girl #1: You fail at life.
Girl #2: Nuh-uh! I’m good at life! I have a C-plus at life!

High school
Ohio

Overheard by: Kat Navane

Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.

Plane over Cleveland, Ohio

Woman on cell in department store: She's probably trading food for underwear.

Cincinnati, Ohio

Overheard by: Leslie

Queer en route to Obama rally: Oh my god, he’s so cute. Do you think he’ll sign my ass for me?

Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Rachel Jane

Professor, exasperated: Don't you guys know anything about education in Sweden? Or anything about Sweden at all?
Physical education major: Yeah, that's where we get those Swiss Army knives.

Education Class
Ohio State University

Overheard by: i can't believe these people are going to be teachers…