Five-year-old boy: If Mommy has another baby, I’m not gonna be by it. It will just crawl around the house and suck milk from Mommy’s nibbles. And she won’t wear a bra!
Eight-year-old boy: If you like bras so much, maybe we should get you one.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah! I would use it for my butt cheeks, so when I sit down it would be nice and soft!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/yeah_i_dont_know_either.html
Overheard by: chaska
College guy: No wonder Matt can’t get a date — his best line is, ‘Do you want a badly damaged brat?’
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/some_girls_arent_picky.html
Teen cheerleader: I think hobos are hot.
Friend: Why?
Teen cheerleader: I don’t know. There’s just something sexy about trains, I guess.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/and_people_who_go_months_witho.html
Overheard by:
Eight-year-old girl #1 tying scarf around head: We’re going to look like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: Like what?
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like gangstas!
Eight-year-old girl #2: What’s a gangsta?
Eight-year-old girl #1: It’s a gangster.
Eight-year-old girl #2: Oh.
Eight-year-old girl #1: Like the Jets.
Eight-year-old girl #2, suddenly understanding: Ohhh, okay!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/no_aim_for_the_sharks.html
Overheard by: I think they paid a little too much attention to west side story
Woman #1: I think my new cat is different.
Woman #2: What do you mean by different?
Woman #1: I’m pretty sure he’s metro-sexual, because he meows like a girl.
Woman #2: It could be worse.
Woman #1: Well, I don’t know — I’m fairly sure he has abandonment issues, too.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/her_issues_are_much_more_alarm.html
Overheard by:
Skinny brunette: How many calories do you burn masturbating? Gross, I know…
Skinny redhead: I read in Cosmo that it’s somewhere between one-fifty and two hundred.
Skinny brunette, gasping: See?! People ought to promote masturbation more! This is why America is getting so fat! No one is touching themselves!
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/itll_be_bigger_than_pilates.html
Overheard by: then why am I so fat?
Sighing emo kid to another: My soul is tired.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/your_emo_act_is_tired.html
Overheard by: katra
Asian teen boy: I wish my girlfriend had eyelids.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/08/um.html
Overheard by: wellll… Your kids probably won’t either
Woman to friend: ‘Cause, you know, I feel things. I’m, like, a feeler.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/the_rest_of_us_are_dead_inside.html
Overheard by: feelin it!
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It’s a bridge. It’s a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, ‘Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.’
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_have_a_new_love_for_the_spoo.html
Overheard by:
