Overheard in Minneapolis

Blonde to parents: Pretend I’m smarter than you think I am.


Overheard by: she really is

20-something girl on cell: I had the malpractice ball this last weekend. It was in the Weisman Museum… kind of lame, not a lot of space. (pause) But I didn't bring a flask this year, so it was a little conservative, definitely a limited amount of alcohol. (pause) Are you going home for Passover? (pause) Oh my, are you converting? (pause) Yeah, I want to know what this whole Jerry Springer photo thing is all about.


Overheard by: burrhead

Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They’re hungry and they aren’t happy about it, so people have to die.

Route 16 bus

Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat

Nervous tattooed boy: I mean, your face is really really beautiful, though.
Bored pretty girl, nodding: Yeah, that's true.


Overheard by: invisiblepilot

Mother: Hey, you could get a job at Build-A-Bear.
Exasperated daughter: No I couldn't, they have to wear khaki pants and denim shirts.


Overheard by: what?s wrong with that?

20-something daughter: Mom, can you hand me the scissors?
Mom: Not right now, I'm doing Kegels.


Overheard by: tara

Hobo #1: Man, you never even realize it — you start to watch The Price Is Right instead of filing your taxes, and then bam — you’re shitting in the park and wiping your ass with newspaper.
Hobo #2: Yeah, man. For me it was Cops.


Teen girl on cell: Cuz you're not a lesbian fan, and I like lesbians. They're funny.


Overheard by: um…

Wannabe hipster girl: I'm anorexic!
Wannabe hipster friend: No way!
Wannabe hipster girl: No, seriously! I'm anorexic since lunch.
Wannabe hipster friend: Okay.


Overheard by: the actual hipsters were way more polite

Little girl to popsicle: And then I'm going to lick you and suck on you until you melt all over me.
Concerned mother: Kelly! I told you not to talk to popsicles!


Overheard by: Ian