Overheard in Minneapolis

Bimbette #1: What’s up with Katie?
Bimbette #2: She’s an emu. Emus cut themselves.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/she_would_if_she_could.html

Middle aged woman with grandchildren, at 11:30 am: I just took the kids out to breakfast and now I need to go home and have me a Jack Daniels.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/329259996/please-bring-me-with-you.html

Overheard by: Les

Barista: I totally hate what rehab’s done to coffee houses.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/and_liquor_stores.html

Overheard by:

Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn’t even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/im_still_laughing_over_summer.html

Overheard by: also not surprised

Man: I just had a dream where I was stoned, and when I woke up, I couldn't tell if I was stoned or not.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/355805032/the-safe-assumption-is-yes.html

Overheard by: jfa

Girl: My friends are always saying I need to make a Facebook page and I'm like, “Why? I talk to you a-holes enough already!”

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/416332366/so-you-can-send-me-gifts-you-spent-a-dollar-on.html

Overheard by: sleeping on the job

Administrator (mumbling to herself): Maybe I should just fire everyone here. (opens a drawer) Oh, here's my spoon. Okay, maybe everyone can keep their jobs.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/431193022/its-my-special-spoon.html

Overheard by: spoon.

Teenage boy surrounded by girls: So, do you guys play the penis game?
(awkward silence)

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/353024427/thats-a-pick-up-line-that-will-serve-him-well-for-years.html

Overheard by: no, I don't

Six-year-old boy: Mom! I want a cookie.
Mom: If you don't start behaving you're going to turn into a deep-fried boy on a stick at the state fair.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/382002415/someone-will-try-that-next-year.html

Overheard by: Ian

Woman waiting for coffee: You know my sister is a Playboy model?
Friend: (blank stare)
Woman waiting for coffee: Yeah! She sends me the pictures. I mean, she's beautiful, but I don't wanna see that. And my brother, he looks at those!
Friend: (blank stare)

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563420/all-in-the-family.html

Overheard by: next in line.