Mom: So tell me the truth. Was that your pregnancy test dad found in the trash?
Daughter: Jesus Christ, mom! No!
Mom: Okay, well, I just wanted to…
Daughter, interrupting: I wish it was my test! At least then I'd be having a good time!
YMCA
Nashville, Tennessee
Kid: Mom… Mom… Mom! You're ignoring me again!
Mom: Yeah, I know. I've sort of learned to tune you out.
Bellingham, Washington
Six-year-old: Piss piss pissy piss piss.
Unconcerned mother: Oh, look here’s the Crayola aisle!
Michael’s
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Dad: Does Gracie love momma?
Toddler: Pshnoooooo.
Dad: Does Gracie love Elmo?
Toddler: Yeah!
Target
Nashville, Tennessee
College girl to college guy: So you won't marry me but you'll procreate with me?
Glendale, Wisconsin
30-something at table with friends: I'm telling you! Children are like one of those STDs that you have to live with for the rest of your life. They're like herpes or HIV. They will never, ever, ever go away. They will ruin your life.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: So fucking teue
Young pregnant mother, gratefully accepting seat on crowded tram: Come over here and sit with mummy, Adam.
Four-year-old: Noooooooooo.
Mother: C'mon, Adam, come sit with mummy.
Four-year-old: Noooooooo (but slinks over and sits down anyway)
Mother: Better?
Four-year-old: You've ruined my life, mom.
Mother: Yes, honey, I know.
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Soap Oprah
Woman, paying for breakfast: I had to beat up my son for this five dollars.
Deli Counter
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Minivet
