Parenting

Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.

University of Alabama

Three-year-old boy: Do Santa and Batman fly in the sky together?
Mom: I hope they're careful if they do, because otherwise… Batmobile crashes into Santa's sleigh, boom! (makes explosion noises) Santa and Batman. Dead.
Three-year-old boy: (laughs hysterically)
Auntie: I'm glad he laughed at that, otherwise you were getting the “worst mom” award.

Antelope, California

Overheard by: Megan

Three-year-old boy to mom, noticing police officers nearby: Don't do anything bad while you're here. Okay, mom?
Mom: Okay.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/319181011/its-going-to-be-hard.html

Overheard by: an amused barista.

Teenage scene girl: I'm going to American Apparel to apply for a job.
Friend: Do you think you'll get the job?
Teenage scene girl: Yeah, but I don't think my mom will let me.
Friend: Why?
Teenage scene girl: There are lesbians there.

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Little girl: You don’t like me!
Mother: If I didn’t like you, I’d throw you in the dumpster.

North Branford, Connecticut

Mom to young daughter: No, you don't get a lollipop just because you're wearing underwear.

Dulwich Village
London
England

Overheard by: Didn't get a lollipop either

Mom to six-year-old: I'm not buying this whole “selective stuttering” thing.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Three-year-old to parents: Jesus is mean.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Father, explaining electrical cables to teenage son: Yeah, she's got a transvestite in her wall. But you can convert the tranny back to a female, using the thing in the wall.

Wellington, New Zealand

Overheard by: Jordyn

Dad to daughter: Just don't pretend you're riding a bucking bronco when you're in bed.

Seattle, Washington