Professor: No, pondering eternal truths is not a good excuse for missing my class…I'd need a signed note from god.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JQ
Professor: No, pondering eternal truths is not a good excuse for missing my class…I'd need a signed note from god.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: JQ
Male customer: Do you have any more of those flying penises?
New Hope, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wait…whaaaat?!
Freshman guy: It's been in my mouth for almost a minute now, and I'm still not sure what it is.
Freshman girl: Scary thought, isn't it?
Dining Hall, Arcadia University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Bimbo #1, buying coffee: Do you ever, like, look at your change and think, “Wow: $16.64. Something totally happened that year!”
Bimbo #2: Oh yeah, I totally agree. Like, if I bought something for like two dollars with a $20 and my change was $19.78, I like might know someone who was born that year!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: BaptistaBarista
Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton
Scholar: Handicapped people would be hot if they could, like, use their legs and stuff.
Bryn Mawr College
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Hobo, sitting next to guys on bench: And then my guys, damn birds! (mutters incoherently) Everywhere! Fucking pigeons! They eat and shit and live and shit. (mutters incoherently) Cats, and mind control, that's what we need…
(hobo gets up and rolls down the street)
Guy #1: What the fuck?
Guy #2: I think he's my hero.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Karen
Bitchy girl #1: Mike's away message is about his lovemaking skills again.
Bitchy girl #2: What does it say? “I'm the best even though I'm fat”?
Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
30-ish black woman, emphatically to self: Damn! Life ain’t nothin’ like I ever seen before.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
