… Who’s Due in June

Woman: I gotta smoke as much as I can before May 30th, ’cause after that it’s bad for the baby.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/05/shes_bad_for_the_baby.html

Posted on June 5, 2019
Overheard in Minneapolis, Preggers, Pregnancy, Smoking

With the Paper Bag on His Head?

Girl to friend: What if I am pregnant? How will I know who the father is? Well, if it comes out half Asian it's Jason's. If it comes out a midget it's Thomas's, and if it comes out blurry, it's the unnamed guy.

Escondido, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Posted on February 11, 2019
California, Girls, Parenting, Pregnancy, Race, Sexuality

Tonight on Keeping Up With the Judashians

Teenybopper #1: So I haven't had my period in like six weeks!
Teenybopper #2: Girl, that means you must be pregnant!
Teenybopper #1: No, cuz then I'd have to be, like, a female Jesus!

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on November 29, 2018
Health & Hygiene, Jesus, Massachusetts, Pregnancy, Teens

The Auto-Abortion Function Would Be Optional

Loud black lady in long line: Girl, I know how you feel! Every time I try to buy a pregnancy test, there gotta be a big ordeal! The line too long, or there someone you know.
Girl with pregnancy test, embarrassed and chuckling: Yeah…
Loud black lady: I wish I could just go in my toilet, then push a button and have my toilet say, ‘Uh-huh, you pregnant today!’

Van Wert, Ohio

Overheard by: Woah, that’s not a bad idea…

Posted on June 25, 2018
Black people, Ohio, Pregnancy

But You Can Hold It Over the Kid for Life

Pregnant, tattooed hipster: This is killing me. How can I go without ink for nine months?
Tattooed hipster friend: Oh, I know.

Nevada

Posted on May 19, 2018
Hipsters, Nevada, Preggers, Pregnancy, Tattoos

A Strategy I Didn’t Quite Think Through

20-ish chick: I can’t believe I faked a pregnancy just to get back at a guy! I’m so psycho!
Friend with baby: Pshhh, that’s nothing — I actually got pregnant!

Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on February 8, 2018
Canadia, Comebacks, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Pregnancy

Scissors, Ipods, Horses, Pauses…

Dude #1: Hey man, wanna go get some things pregnant?
Dude #2: Um. What? What kind of things?
Dude #1: Just stuff. Whatever we find.

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

Posted on January 17, 2018
Guys, Jerks, Leisure, Offers and requests, Overheard at UMBC, Pregnancy, Questions, Sex, Wishes

Next on Maury

Brunette: And then he called me back ten minutes later and told me his brother got his girlfriend pregnant, and she's like sixteen or something.
Blonde: Is he mad his brother and his girlfriend hooked up?
Brunette: He's got more serious issues dating a child and shit.

Kent State University
Kent, Ohio