Coed #1: So we're finally officially dating. I mean it's been, like, six months!
Coed #2: Great! That's moving forward!
Coed #1: Yeah. He said the first six months I was on “dating probation” and now I'm on “girlfriend probation.” His friend got drunk at the bar and was all like “what, you haven't made her official yet?” so he's like, “you have my friend to thank for this.”
UNCG
Greensboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Put him on boyfriend probation
Teacher: I got a question for you guys… If you're flying at 50,000 feet and the left rear tire falls off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse and why?
Students: What the fuck?
Teacher: Clearly, the answer is 7, cause ice cream has no bones!
Student #1: Why do they keep giving us teachers on crack?
Student #2: I dunno, man. I dunno…
Inside Freshman Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?
Utah
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Honey, don't you think I've got Bambi eyes?
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend: A lot of people think so.
Boyfriend: You don't have Bambi eyes.
Denmark
Little kid #1, looking at mummies: Dad, are there dead people in there?
Dad: No, I don’t think so.
Little kid #2: Yeah, there are. That’s why it smells so bad.
Museum of Fine Arts
Boston, Massachusetts
Frizzy-haired college girl: Are you seriously asking me to to sell myself so you can hitchhike to Sicily?
Friend #1: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
Friend #2: Yeah. Like first of all, no one in Italy would want to pay for you.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Passing Student
Girl #1: Do you remember that chick we saw that time?
Girl #2: The one at that place?
Girl #1: Yeah, wait, no, that other place.
Girl #2: Yeah. What a whore.
Girl #1: I know, right?
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: not that chick
Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.
Huxley, Iowa
Overheard by: Hondo
Mom: Do you want to take your coat off?
Toddler: Go to hell!
Wal-Mart
Hendersonville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Tanner
14-year-old boy #1: Dude, try my sunnies on! They're super dark!
(boy #1 hands glasses over to boy #2)
14-year-old boy #2: Cool, they are pretty dark!
14-year-old boy #3: Hey, cool! They totally go with your hair!
14-year-old boy #2: Are you queer?
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
