Questions

Greenpeace activist to couple walking out of grocery store: Are you guys concerned about our environment?
Elderly couple: Definitely! We recycle, and we take showers together!

Mothers Market
Costa Mesa, California

Overheard by: arie

Dutch flight attendant, collecting airsick bags: Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Thank you. Vomit? Vomit, sir?

NWA Flight
Newark Airport, New Jersey

Overheard by: Ladle

Stoner #1: Yo, what time is it?
Stoner #2: Oh! I know, right?

Roslindale, Massachusetts

Young boy to mother, after getting cup of tea: Oh, what's this? A cup of tea for me? Are you married? Pah! I don't want your married germs!

Akaroa French Fest
New Zealand

Girl, waiting for Italian professor: How can she know Italian well enough to teach it when she can't even speak English that well?

Rhode Island

Overheard by: Doesn't Speak Italian

Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.

University of Alabama

Three-year-old boy: Do Santa and Batman fly in the sky together?
Mom: I hope they're careful if they do, because otherwise… Batmobile crashes into Santa's sleigh, boom! (makes explosion noises) Santa and Batman. Dead.
Three-year-old boy: (laughs hysterically)
Auntie: I'm glad he laughed at that, otherwise you were getting the “worst mom” award.

Antelope, California

Overheard by: Megan

Girl #1: What would you do if you were a lesbian?
Girl #2: [Thoughtful pause] Eat a lot of pussy.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: I was there

Girl: And then he asked if I had dingleberries, and I was like, “no,” and then I said “but my cat does.”

UMASS
Massachusetts

Butch lesbian: So…how do blind people wipe their ass?
Fem lesbian: The same way everyone else does. Oh…oh my god, that's gross, Wendy. Most people don't look at it.

Seattle, Washington