Questions

Older man in baggy clothes, waiting in line: You're a Kung Fu master.
College girl (amused): How'd you know?
Older nan: I sensed your Chi.

Burger King
Worcester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Emily

Small child: Hey, dad, can we take the quarters out of the fountain?
Father: Not now. That's what we do after dark, when we put our ski masks on.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/465751887/bring-your-kid-to-work-day.html

Overheard by: rappeling from the ceiling for spare change.

Male thug #1: So, am I the dad?
Male thug #2: You and all? Who else have you fucked?
Male thug #1: I know she fucked Tommy as well.
Girl thuggete: He never fucked me, he only fingered me.

Hospital
Newcastle
England

Overheard by: Judge Mental

Guy: Did you watch that Palin video I sent you?
Girl: Not yet. I have to take my pants off to watch it.

Bloomfield, Connecticut

Guy exiting art class to female friend: I sleep through that whole class. It's all I can do.
Girl: What about when she asks attendance questions?
Guy: Well, I wake up for that part. It's just… God, I hate her! She's always talking about vaginas! And I'm just like, “Hello! I know what a vagina looks like!”

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Girl #1: He's massive?
Girl #2: Yeah, I heard he impaled someone!
Girl #1: I just meant he's tall.

Vienna
Austria

20-something #1: So I saw the earrings on his nightstand and I took them.
20-something #2: What? You really took them? Why?
20-something #1: Because she took two of his t-shirts when she left the other night, and left her earrings behind so she would have an excuse to see him again! It's like Fatal Attraction!
20-something #2: But you took her earrings, and still spent the night with him after she did! What the hell? (pause) Are those them?
20-something #1: Yeah.
20-something #2: They're cute.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: A Cheek

Guy: She's pregnant? Isn't she like 16?
Chick: So?
Guy: That's so ghetto!
Chick: So what? Every pregnant 16-year-old is some ghetto welfare mama? For all you know she could be a great mom! You're too fucking judgmental!
Guy: (stunned silence)
Chick: Anyway, she found out it's a girl last week. She's naming her “Sequins.”

Toronto
Canadia

Dispatcher on police scanner: A subject was just robbed at gunpoint by a black male wearing no clothing.
Cop #1: Can we get a clothing description?
Cop #2, after silence: Just look for a naked man with a gun.

News Station
Jackson, Mississippi

Young dude: Yeah, when I was dating her I found myself doing, like, things I didn't really want to do.
Female friend: Like?
Young dude: Like she had a really high sex drive, which, you know, is such a turn off.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/460141972/mark-this-on-your-calendar.html

Overheard by: yeah, I hate having sex with people I'm dating.