Questions

Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!

Springboro, Ohio

Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important

Professor: So what happened in Germany between 1928 and 1930?
Student: 1929!

Fordham University, New York

Overheard by: Sromeo

Guy on cell: Did they sell their house? (pause) Ohhh, they couldn't sell the house! (pause) Yeah…that makes sense! Ain't nobody can't get credit now, ho! (pause) Wait, I didn't mean to call you a ho, grandma.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/

Gay professor: Yeah, so running through these questions should go a little more smoothly this time around. I looked around for what was causing it to go so slow last time, and I realized that there are disadvantages to letting your 14-year-old take your laptop to Tahoe for the weekend. I mean, really–how much lesbian porn can three teenage boys download? (class laughs) So, uh. If anything pops up, you know who to blame. I mean, it certainly isn't my secret fetish.

San Francisco State University, California

Overheard by: It isn't mine, either.

Hot 21-year-old: Do I look fat in this?
Hot friend: Are you delusional?
Hot 21-year-old: Yay!
Hot friend: Being delusional isn't a good thing.
Hot 21-year-old: I'd rather be delusional then fat!

Rose Bay
Australia

Overheard by: Abbey

Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!

Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio

Six-year-old child to teacher, upon seeing her new haircut for the first time: What's wrong with your hair?
Teacher: What do you mean “what's wrong with my hair”?
Child (with eyes downcast): It just looks so beautiful.
Teacher: Well, thank you.

New Westminster
BC
Canadia

Female cashier: I'm tired, and really not sure why.
Man checking out: You want to know what causes tiredness?
Female cashier: What?
Man checking out: Either too much sex or not enough sex. By the looks of you, it must be too much sex.

Albertson's
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not tired, so I must be getting enough sex

Girl #1: And she was like, “Hi, I'm Ashley” and stuck out her hand.
Girl #2: Did you smack her in the head? And tell her to stop talking like that?

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Guy coming out of bathroom: Dude, did you hear the angels singing?
Friend: What?
Guy: Man, that shit was magical.

Camp LeJeune, North Carolina