Home girl #1: Ay, foo, I thought I was pregnant!
Home girl #2: Oh, nahh!
Home girl #1: Yeah! Junior was all “Ay, you got your period yet or what?” and I was all “no, why?” and he goes “because I was tryn' to get you pregnant!” Chhh! Crazy huh?
CSULA Cafeteria
California
Overheard by: Itshahaholly
Stoner #1: Hey, have you seen Jim* lately?
Stoner #2: No, man, I don't hang out with him no more.
Stoner #3: Why not?
Stoner #2: He kept stealing my Skittles!
Public Library
Eugene, Oregon
Girl #1: So what's up with those boots you bought this weekend? You don't look like the type to wear them.
Girl #2: Uh, Tim* wanted me to buy them.
Girl #1: Oh, that's right. I almost forgot about his boot fetish.
Girl #2: And I'm pretty sure he wants me to wear them. And nothing else.
Girl #1, sighing wistfully: I wish I had a hot relationship like that! All I have is slut sex!
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
80-something lady to another: I saw Bertie and his lady friend at the state fair. Yes, she's a large woman, tall and quite big. I mean, you could say that about a lot of people, but she's very large. When she hugs him, it's all lady and no Bertie!
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379925866/thats-how-bertie-likes-it.html
Overheard by: poor bertie!
Emphatic woman: See? That's why this is your first marriage!
Sherman Oaks, California
Girl: So I think he's taken our relationship a step further.
Gay friend: Oh! What, did he ask you out?
Girl: No.
Gay friend: Did he finally tell you he likes you?
Girl: No! Nothing like that.
Gay friend: Then what?
Girl: He started talking to me exclusively in D&D jargon!
Gay friend: See, this is why we have different tastes in men.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Doesn't play D&D
Woman to clerk: My turkeys are ruining my marriage!
California
60-something man: I don't want to be with my first wife for an eternity! She is Satan's sister.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Fluffy
Girlfriend to boyfriend: Aww… I love you.
Boyfriend: Thanks, buddy!
Girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: I kinda like you too!
Girlfriend: I can't believe you. (to another girl) Can you believe that?
Kent, Ohio
20-something woman to friend: So, that was how my morning started: waking up with a man I am not overly fond of.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/365149691/the-better-story-is-in-how-the-night-started.html
Overheard by: my morning started a little better
