Girl #1: I used to be really good friends with her, but then we got in a fight.
Girl #2: How come?
Girl #1: Well, I gave her lice.
Rockingham Mall
Salem, New Hampshire
Girl #1: I used to be really good friends with her, but then we got in a fight.
Girl #2: How come?
Girl #1: Well, I gave her lice.
Rockingham Mall
Salem, New Hampshire
Girl on cell: But I really ruined his life. I mean, what should I do? (pause) Should I, like, text him and say, “I'm sorry for ruining your life”?
Cold Stone Creamery
New Jersey
Redneck woman: He said that he could tell she really dug him because she farted in front of him.
Friend: Oh, she'll fart in front of anybody!
Square Mall
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: pull my finger
Blonde: So this guy was hitting on me and he was like, “so, do you have a boyfriend?” and I was like, “ummm, yeah.” It was really creepy. I was like, “oh my god, I can not tell my boyfriend about this!” I mean, normally he wouldn't really care, but (looks around and lowers voice) this guy was black, so I think my boyfriend might flip. I mean, not that he's racist or anything.
Penn Tech
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Employee #1: Yeah, you know the stripper's bad when a married man says, “uh, no thanks, I'm married.”
Employee #2, laughing: Man, that's bad.
Zoning Department, City Hall
Chicago, Illinois
Tall blonde dude: If only she wasn't a butch lesbian, we would be so perfect for each other.
Petite blonde: You need to start thinking outside of those boundaries.
Juniata College
Huntingdon, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: I agree
Woman to husband: Honey, can you go to the bathroom so the seat is warm when I use it?
Tucson, Arizona
Short girl hugging friend: Let's make CocoRosie jokes and spoon.
Basketball Game
Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sounds pretty nice to me
Guy with mullet on cell: He's in that “oh, my wife just died” mood. (long pause) Yeah, I know. Boo-hoo, ya fuckin' pussy!
Plantation, Florida
Overheard by: Just wants to buy some Spaghetti-O's
Drunk teenage boy: Heyyy, ssssuuuuupp, buddd… (stumbles away)
Sober teenage boy: I guess he's too drunk to notice that we're not friends.
Red Bank, New Jersey
