Sex

Coworker, indignantly: Stop locking up my chuzzles!

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Should be working

Girl: Wait, I got some action from Alex* once when he was drunk… Does that make me a predator?
Guy: No, guys don’t really mind being taken advantage of.
Girl: Well, because he did pass out on me…

Oak Park, Illinois

Overheard by: Erin

Guy: I was a dragon in my past life.
Girl: Did you have sex with other dragons?
Guy: Of course.

High School Gym
West Virginia

Overheard by: Kimber

Girl: Okay, what?
Friend: I'm just saying that it's…
Girl: Okay, stop talking if you are going to try and convince me that having sex with strangers is bad!

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Guy #1: I was the second person she ever had sex with.
Guy #2: What!?
Guy #1: I know! And it freaked me out! So I never called her again!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Big B

Guy to date: And then, after work, he sorts out men's erectile dysfunction.

Greek Restaurant
London
England

Overheard by: Sam Veale

Giddy girl, to guy in a wheelchair: Well, you certainly have sexual harassment down pat.

Art Department
University of Alaska

Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!

University of Delaware

Overheard by: Terrance Williams

Man #1: She’s lost a lot of weight recently.
Man #2: I guess. Didn’t help, though.
Man #1: With what?
Man #2: The pure funk which likely seeps from her gaping maw of an over-used pussy. I wouldn’t fuck that with your dick, dude.
Man #1: Thanks for having my back. Do me another favor — fuck your wife with my dick, okay?
Man #2: Why not? Someone’s dick should be allowed to.

9th and J Streets
Sacramento, California

Waiter, about female patron: Mmm. So hot. I just want to pump her full of babies!

Seattle, Washington