Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.
Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Teacher: So when you have sex with someone who isn’t a virgin, your spirit is having sex with the spirits of everyone that person had sex with.
Religion Classroom
El Paso, Texas
Professor: And so in REM sleep you'll get penile erection and vaginal lubrication. You know, the fun stuff. (class laughs) Well, your eyes aren't the only things that are moving!
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: studious student
Chocolate store girl: You’re a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I’m good-looking. You’re-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I’ll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you’re gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex’s dick when you’re supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she’s going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there
Dude at bar: So wait, after her husband left her here by herself–completely shitfaced–she then fucked a total stranger in the bathroom?
Bartender: Yep.
Dude at bar: And then she came back out here bragging about getting banged in the ass?
Gay dude, sidling up: Sounds like an awesome night.
District Bar
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Big D
Preppy blonde teen: So I told him I really had to go, and he said my pussy was telling him it wanted to stay.
Brunette friend: What the fuck, I never knew he spoke vagina!
Beverly Hills, California
Girl: I can’t believe you’ve never seen The Sound of Music. You have to watch that.
Guy: Fuck that. I wouldn’t watch that movie if you watched it with me, and we were going to fuck afterward.
Mankato, Minnesota
Cool college chick to friends: Ya know, birth control is the thing that makes sex okay.
Mexican Restaurant
Virginia
Overheard by: KMCV
Old man to another, looking at soup: I just feel like I'm getting ripped off by the French!
Grocery Store
Maryland
Overheard by: Nic
Female student #1: Can you ride me piggyback after class?
Female student #2: Can *he* ride *you* after class?
Female student #1, giggling: That's not what I meant!
Male student: Wait, don't you have, like, 20 cats?
Female student #1: (slaps him)
Female student #2: You do have a lot of cats…
Simmons College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Yoshi
Dude to group of guys: When I fuck a girl, I don't want to be remembered. I want to be forgotten.
Echo Park, California
Overheard by: Angry Sandwich
