Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.
Boston, Massachusetts
Teenage girl #1: I don't understand how she has a boyfriend! She is so ugly!
Teenage girl #2: It's obviously because she puts out.
Teenage girl #1: So do I!
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: I'll be your boyfriend
Chronically oversharing blonde woman: If I didn't know better, I'd swear there was a baby up in there, but there are three reasons I know that's impossible. For one thing, I'm on birth control, which is why I've gained twenty-five pounds. Twenty-five pounds! Also, I haven't had sex since (whispers) October, (resumes normal voice) so I'd be overdue. And I got my period today.
Chilango's Mexican Restaurant
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: TARDIS Dyke
Girl #1: Girl, I am pregnant.
Girl #2: Do you know who the daddy is?
Girl #1: No!
Girl #2: Girl, my doctor told me that when I sleep with a man, to write it on the calendar, so if I get pregnant they can try to find the daddy!
Elevator, Columbus State Community College
Columbus, Ohio
Chick, approaching yuppie guy: Hey I haven't seen you since…
Yuppie guy: Since I nailed you in the high school bathroom! Four… five years ago, right Jen?
Chick: No, that wasn't me. But thanks for remembering my name!
Bar
Nebraska
Overheard by: allie
Guy #1: Dude, have you seen this picture?
Guy #2: Nah, dude. Show it to me.
(guy #1 shows guy #2 picture of naked girl in a scenic background)
Guy #2: Dude, do you think it's gay that I think the scenery is the prettiest thing in this picture?
Guy #3, walking by: No, you just want to fuck the planet.
Carmel, Indiana
Conservative Jewish girl: I think that the draft should be required, like in Israel. That way, every guy would have a great body, and I could let loose and get me a hot one more easily.
UC Santa Cruz
California
Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Flight attendant, describing Australia's quarantine practices: And if you do not declare any foodstuff and you get caught you may face on-the-spot fines, or prostitution.
Flight to Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Erik
