Drunk girl: I thought the first time I had sex it would be like milking a cow. You know: squirt, squirt, squirt… a little at a time.
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Drunk girl: I thought the first time I had sex it would be like milking a cow. You know: squirt, squirt, squirt… a little at a time.
Kingston
Ontario
Canadia
Teen princess to another, in changing room: Oh my god, she's so trashy. Who would ask their friends to a a pole-dancing class there? The pole dancing studios I go to in the city are like sexy and hot. But at that one, I got carpet burn.
Changing Rooms
Sydney
Australia
Crying girl: I have always wanted to have kids, you know? Now I can't.
Friend: It's really not that bad.
Crying girl: No, the doctor said I can never get pregnant!
Friend: Look at it this way: you can have tons of sex and never have to worry about it. I think it's a pretty sweet deal!
Random guy: I agree with you, sista.
San Francisco, California
Teenage girl with bad haircut: Ugh, I so just want to punch Lauren* in the face… She's lucky I'm not a bitch.
Overweight teenage boy: I know!
Teenage girl with bad haircut: I mean, seriously, all the time from here it's all “blah blah blah, I got raped.” So annoying!
Overweight teenage boy: I know!
Teenage girl with bad haircut: I'd understand if it was once in a while… but dude, she talks about it all the time!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Lisa
Dude on phone: You have a post-coital gift shop?!
College Campus
Denver, Colorado
Spanish teacher, teaching tenses: If your parents were away, what would you do?
Student: I would do Jeff!
(class laughs)
Student: No, I mean I would invite Jeff over!
Spanish teacher: That doesn't make it sound any better.
High School
Concord, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Old lady to female bus driver: I need to get laid.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: exactly
Professor: It's hard to have an orgy without orgasms. What? It's true! What're you gonna do, play video games?
University of San Francisco
San Francisco, California
Jailbait to friends: I just hate being handled, you know?
Giggly friend: Ew!
Jailbait: No, I mean, like… (trails off)
Construction worker, softly, to himself: Oh please, god…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: do not want
