Tall balding guy: You know how you can eat so much and be so full that when you take a piss you can't even see your dick?
Friend: No.
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: could not stop laughing
Tall balding guy: You know how you can eat so much and be so full that when you take a piss you can't even see your dick?
Friend: No.
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: could not stop laughing
Overly dramatic English teacher: You will have the face you deserve when you are eighty. I will be beautiful.
AC Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Sorority ditz: It's not that I didn't want to do the homework, I was just too drunk.
USC
Columbia, South Carolina
Lady to greeter: Do you have any children's CDs…like for real children?
Greeter: (bewildered look)
Greenville, South Carolina
Teenage waitress telling baby boomer male customer her medical issues: Yeah, and I got this tail thing right here. (points at lower back) It looks like I'm growing a tail.
Fatz Cafe
Lexington, South Carolina
Drunk girl to another drunk girl puking at the curb: Girl, it's okay girl. You're still cute, girl.
Greenville, South Carolina
Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.
Clemson, South Carolina
English teacher: Calling someone a douche is not a constructive comment, even if it’s true.
Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Yuppie teen girl #1: I’m sooo glad it didn’t happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their… like… stuff.
Hotel elevator
South Carolina
Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?
Chick #1: Hey, how was your weekend?
Chick #2: It was really fun — my wart fell off!
Chick #1: Really? How?
Chick #2: I don’t know! It just fell off. It was the best weekend ever!
Charleston, South Carolina
