Spanish teacher, teaching tenses: If your parents were away, what would you do?
Student: I would do Jeff!
(class laughs)
Student: No, I mean I would invite Jeff over!
Spanish teacher: That doesn't make it sound any better.
High School
Concord, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Nerdy college guy #1: “Bitch” does have a negative connotation.
Nerdy college guy #2: But girls say it to each other, it's like the “n” word!
Nerdy college guy #3: And it can be used as a greeting! “Yo, bitch, what's shakin'?”
USF
Florida
Overheard by: SB
Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) “Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!” (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, “Woah! He is a real person.”
University of Oklahoma
Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles
Student: The form told me that there's a 2% chance that it will happen to me, but if it does happen to me, there's a 100% chance that it will happen to me.
UCLA, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Large chick in group of students: I like science, music, dance, and you know what else I like? Anal.
Community College
Virginia
Student, about the economy: Well, what if I just took my big stick and made them give me their resources?
Professor: Well, let's just imagine that your stick isn't big enough to extract the resources you want. (chuckles) Sometimes there's no pleasure in the big stick. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about sticks now.
Classroom
UC Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Kelly
Freshman boy: I don't think Helen Keller was too concerned about dick.
High School
Colorado
Overheard by: clur
Female law student, after declining jello shot: No, I have to drive you home.
Male law student: I don't want a cranky sober person driving me home!
St. Petersburg, Florida
