Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
NYU guy in audience during group skits: PBR doesn't taste as good on a Sunday morning as it did last night at the party.
NYU girl in audience during group skits: Yeah, I'm like, “someone might as well just piss in my mouth instead.”
Rock Hill, New York
Overheard by: I think I'll still go with the PBR
Prof: Ladies, I'm just gonna give it to you straight: I guarantee you that almost every straight guy you see today is going to picture you naked.
Techie guy, fixing projector: Fuckin' A!
University of Calgary
Canadia
Studious student: You know she would tell her students that she's far too sick to make it out to campus, and then curl up in a ball on her couch with a cup of tea so she can watch the rain fall and weep.
Virginia Commonwealth University
Spanish teacher, teaching tenses: If your parents were away, what would you do?
Student: I would do Jeff!
(class laughs)
Student: No, I mean I would invite Jeff over!
Spanish teacher: That doesn't make it sound any better.
High School
Concord, North Carolina
Overheard by: Mary
Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?
Latin Class
Denver, Colorado
Nerdy college guy #1: “Bitch” does have a negative connotation.
Nerdy college guy #2: But girls say it to each other, it's like the “n” word!
Nerdy college guy #3: And it can be used as a greeting! “Yo, bitch, what's shakin'?”
USF
Florida
Overheard by: SB
Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) “Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!” (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, “Woah! He is a real person.”
University of Oklahoma
Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles
Student: The form told me that there's a 2% chance that it will happen to me, but if it does happen to me, there's a 100% chance that it will happen to me.
UCLA, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
