Teens

Train conductor, to teenage girl with feet on chair: Can you read? (points to sign)
Teenage girl: What…? Oh, sorry. (takes her feet down, conductor walks away)
Suit: He would have never done that if you were a guy.

New Jersey Transit

Older teenager: Go get me my Clif Bar!
Little girl, eating ice cream sandwich: I will, but I don't want my ice cream to melt.
Older teenager, very annoyed: Bring it with you. You know an ice cream sandwich is portable!

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Teen boy to girl: No! It was an Indian! And it was not vagina soup!

Danby, New York

Teen girl: I am so strung out on kittens right now, it’s not even funny.

High school classroom
Aurora, Colorado

Teenage girl to friend: I feel like if you eat my hair, we'll be more connected.

Fair Haven, New Jersey

Young boy: I just wish this bus would come so I can stop thinking about my nipples.

Bus Stop
England

Mom: No, that’s not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It’s Christian. It only has violence in it!

Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri

Overheard by: blockbuster lurker

Teen girl: Dad, stop talking about Hugh Grant's penis!

Concord, Massachusetts

Teen girl driving car: I'm turning left because I'm ugly.

New Zealand

Overheard by: passenger

Seventeen-year-old girl to boyfriend: You can't do anything right! I send you in there to buy me some porn and you come out with hermaphrodites? It's called Real Chicks with Real Dicks, for fuck's sake.
Boyfriend (in thick accent): I'm sorry… My english…it is not too good. I saw chicks, I saw dicks…I just grabbed it.

Manchester, New Hampshire

Overheard by: taylor