Grasshoppers Always Think They're Cooler Than Ants

20-something suit: They act like they are advancing and getting ahead just because they are always on time. I said “whatever, I'm still cooler than you.”

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: An overachiever

Posted on August 2, 2010
Compare and contrast, Illinois, Suits, Time Management

We Blame Sex & the City for This Conversation

Fun date #1: I hate it when guys want to cum on your face every time.
Fun date #2: Yeah, it gets in your eyes.
Fun date #1: And in your hair.
Fun date #3: Once in a while is okay, but not every time.

Outside Coffee Shop
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: browny

Posted on May 30, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Body parts, Cum, Friends, Gripes, Time Management, Virginia, Weirdness, Wishes

SpongeBob? Absolutely.

Ghetto girl on phone, angrily: Yeah, well, I bet he's just lollygagging somewhere with his grandma!

22 Bus
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 28, 2010
Family ties, Girls, Massachusetts, On the phone, Time Management

It's the First Thing I Can Remember

Young teen girl: So he fucked both your mums, and that's how you two are related?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: But he didn't start fucking my mum till after she had me.

Bus
Wollongong
Australia

Overheard by: definately not related

Posted on May 23, 2010
Australia, Bus, Family ties, Questions, Sex, Teens, Time Management

Best. Reality Competition. Ever.

19-year-old girl on phone in dorm: I have two weeks to have children. I only have one egg left!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on May 12, 2010
Girls, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, On the phone, Pregnancy, Time Management, Weirdness

…Oh Shoot, I Ruined the Surprise.

Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.

Chico, California

Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx

Posted on April 1, 2010
California, Foreigners, On the phone, Threats, Time Management, Violence

Apparently Ending Sentences with Prepositions Is Not on That List.

Amnesty International worker: Do you guys have a minute to help end violence against women?
Dude #1: I'm Cambridge's one registered Republican. Do you have a minute to talk about the things I don't have a minute for?
Dude #2: Burn!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on March 16, 2010
Assholes, Comebacks, Guys, Massachusetts, Time Management

I'm Almost Finished Whittling My Wooden Shoes!

Guy to friend: So, this weekend I was going to go down to Chicago to riot, beat people up, and break shit, but I realized I would have missed my dutch class on Monday, so I thought it would be a bad idea.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/399231319/uh-huh.html

Overheard by: shiggity shaft