Time Management

Young teen girl: So he fucked both your mums, and that's how you two are related?
Boy #1: Yeah.
Boy #2: But he didn't start fucking my mum till after she had me.

Bus
Wollongong
Australia

Overheard by: definately not related

19-year-old girl on phone in dorm: I have two weeks to have children. I only have one egg left!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.

Chico, California

Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx

Amnesty International worker: Do you guys have a minute to help end violence against women?
Dude #1: I'm Cambridge's one registered Republican. Do you have a minute to talk about the things I don't have a minute for?
Dude #2: Burn!

Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Guy to friend: So, this weekend I was going to go down to Chicago to riot, beat people up, and break shit, but I realized I would have missed my dutch class on Monday, so I thought it would be a bad idea.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/399231319/uh-huh.html

Overheard by: shiggity shaft

Girl: Okay, let's catch up on Tuesday. Oh, wait, when's Tuesday?

Jakarta
Indonesia

Girl, covering hair: I have kinky hair (pause), kinky, kinky hair (pause), and I spent so long yesterday making it straight.

Lancaster County, Pennsylvania

Guy #1: My boss, who's a Shaolin monk, told me if I saved his school, he'd pay off my loans. He was like “I pay off 1.5 million dollar debt!” and then, for a while, I was dealing with the Russian mafia, so I've been pretty busy.
Guy #2: Man… Your life is like a movie. It's like Karate Kid 15 or something.

Tulane University
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: iwouldtotallywatchthatmovie

Older woman on phone: June* is in jail right now, but she'll be into work a little later.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/349982709/hopefully-following-a-shower.html

Overheard by: o_o

College boy #1: Hey, man, thanks for getting me out of that skiing trip.
College boy #2: No problem. Pretty girls have made me do stupid things before. In fact, I bet pretty girls make me do stupid things in the future, too. Probably tonight, or tomorrow…

University of Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: not a college student yet