I Stowed It in the Crawl-Space with Your Dignity

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab

Posted on March 30, 2023
California, Default, Guys, Moms, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Aren't You Glad We Can All Joke About Mass Murder Like This?

Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/insert-inappropriate-terrorism-joke.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on March 25, 2023
Compare and contrast, Cops, Crimes, Eavesdrop DC, Employees, Offers and requests, Violence

How Wars Start: Encapsulated.

20-something woman #1: I have mixed feelings about this bar and grill.
20-something man: I hate this bar and grill.
20-something woman #2: I'm gonna burn down this bar and grill!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on January 10, 2023
Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Nevada, Violence

Grand Theft Auto: Apocalypse May Have Gone Too Far

Teenage ghetto boy: That'd be great, man, if everyone died … They'd be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on January 2, 2023
Black people, Bus, Crimes, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Teens, Violence, Washington, Weirdness

In This Case, She Meant to Stun, Not Kill

Taxi cab driver: She ain't big, but she ain't little, you know. (pause) Broke that bottle over Anna head, but she mean well.

Sierra Vista, Arizona

Overheard by: K

Posted on December 24, 2022
Arizona, Body parts, Compare and contrast, Conductors, Violence, Weirdness

Or I Would If I Didn't Enjoy It So Much.

Reporter, at man's house after he hit someone at a kids' soccer game: Sir, how do you feel about your behavior?
Man, coming up to the door holding bowl of macaroni and cheese: I am ashamed. I slap my own face.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on November 25, 2022
Body parts, Default, Employees, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Violence, Wisconsin

It’s an Identity

Boy to girl: Rape is not a choice.

San Diego, California

Posted on November 18, 2022
California, Crimes, Guys, Violence

Pop Quiz: Which Of These Things Are True About Sarah Palin?

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C