Adult woman to girlfriend’s six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know… Boys.
South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky
Adult woman to girlfriend’s six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know… Boys.
South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky
Professor: So if we played the word association game, and I said the word “ice cream”, Tiffany might say “playground” because she used to eat ice cream on the playground. And then maybe if I said the words “ice cream” to Tom, he might say “sex” because he’s a serial rapist.
Tom: But I’m not.
SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Colin
Ex-husband: I can’t believe you brought a date to our divorce hearing.
Ex-wife: Fuck you! You hooked up with a girl in court.
Ex-husband: I didn’t “hook-up” with her, we made plans for lunch today.
Ex-wife: And that’s better?
Ex-husband: Actually, it’s quite impressive. I rock, you suck, I’m getting laid tonight.
Ex-wife: I got laid last night.
Ex-husband: That’s because you are a dirty hooker.
San Diego Family Court
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Sean
Girl on cell: Listen, he is not a nice guy. Anyone with handcuffs permanently attached to his bed frame is not a nice guy.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Girl #1: It was cause and effect, he bit me on my hip.
Girl #2: So you slept with him?
Kalamazoo, Mississippi
TA: It’s like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.
UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Guy #1: What did the bear say when he walked into the bar?
Guy #2: [Blank stare.]
Guy #1: Roarrrr. He’s a fucking bear, what else would he say! [Laughs out loud.]Guy #2: I haven’t seen you in two months, and this is what you start with? You are a fucking idiot.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Amber
Thug sitting in traffic yelling into cell: I moved you and the goddamn kids out here! I robbed muthafuckas for you! I’m facing five to ten goddamn years for you, and I can’t even get a goddamn thank you?! Bitch, you drunk?!
Highway
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: scaredspectator
Big Italian guy holding a putter: Man, the last time I had one of these was to beat someone up!
Lumberjack Mini Golf
Lake George, New York
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy: You gotta watch out for the Italian Air Force, dude. They’ve got, like, hang-gliders, and guys who throw rocks.
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
Overheard by: Sara
