But I've Told Them We Don't Negotiate with Terrorists.

Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they're throwing rocks at the windows.

Library
Suburbia, Illinois

Overheard by: martha

Posted on May 4, 2023
Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Illinois, Kids, Violence, Weirdness

If You Have to Tell Her, You’re Doing It Wrong

Random guy: Man, you just gotta cowboy the fuck up and tell the dumb bitch you’re doing her in the ass!

Moe’s Southwest Grill
Norman, Oklahoma

Posted on April 23, 2023
Advice, Ass, Backdoor, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Oklahoma, Rednecks, Relationships, Restaurants, Violence

I Stowed It in the Crawl-Space with Your Dignity

Mom: I don't wanna be finding knives in the lawn anymore!
20-year-old son: Where's my sword?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: tab

Posted on March 30, 2023
California, Default, Guys, Moms, Questions, Violence, Weirdness

Aren't You Glad We Can All Joke About Mass Murder Like This?

Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/insert-inappropriate-terrorism-joke.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on March 25, 2023
Compare and contrast, Cops, Crimes, Eavesdrop DC, Employees, Offers and requests, Violence

How Wars Start: Encapsulated.

20-something woman #1: I have mixed feelings about this bar and grill.
20-something man: I hate this bar and grill.
20-something woman #2: I'm gonna burn down this bar and grill!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on January 10, 2023
Feelings, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Nevada, Violence

Grand Theft Auto: Apocalypse May Have Gone Too Far

Teenage ghetto boy: That'd be great, man, if everyone died … They'd be gone, and we could take all their cars!

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on January 2, 2023
Black people, Bus, Crimes, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Teens, Violence, Washington, Weirdness

In This Case, She Meant to Stun, Not Kill

Taxi cab driver: She ain't big, but she ain't little, you know. (pause) Broke that bottle over Anna head, but she mean well.

Sierra Vista, Arizona

Overheard by: K

Posted on December 24, 2022
Arizona, Body parts, Compare and contrast, Conductors, Violence, Weirdness

Or I Would If I Didn't Enjoy It So Much.

Reporter, at man's house after he hit someone at a kids' soccer game: Sir, how do you feel about your behavior?
Man, coming up to the door holding bowl of macaroni and cheese: I am ashamed. I slap my own face.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Posted on November 25, 2022
Body parts, Default, Employees, Feelings, Guys, Questions, Violence, Wisconsin

It’s an Identity

Boy to girl: Rape is not a choice.

San Diego, California

Posted on November 18, 2022
California, Crimes, Guys, Violence

Pop Quiz: Which Of These Things Are True About Sarah Palin?

Hobo: You ever wanted to punch an asshole in the face? Now's your chance, one dollar! I deserve it! I club baby seals, I vote Republican, I masturbate way too much! Quit laughin' and start punchin!

Church & Duboce
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: C

Posted on November 7, 2022
Assholes, California, Hobos, Masturbation, Offers and requests, Politics, Violence, Weirdness

Violence