Man: Does your thingy work down here?
Washington, DC
Man: Does your thingy work down here?
Washington, DC
Frat boy: They called me “the virgin detector.”
Washington, DC
Train operator: Orange line to Vienna. If you are on the platform, you better hurry up. Cause I'm not going to let you slow me down.
Metro
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Reject
Girl to friend: Yes, but he can't pick it off an apple tree that comes out of my vag.
Dorm
Washington, DC
Guy: So who are you meeting here? Some friends?
Girl, sighing: I wouldn't necessarily call them my friends, they're just people I eat with.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Wait, what?
Middle-aged rich bitch on cell: I'll pay up to $300 for a hat I can't live without, you know?
Washington, DC
Cute boyfriend to girlfriend: I am so glad you eat!
Washington, DC
Drunk college dude, explaining how he got kicked out of a club: They looked at my ID, then they looked at my face. My face was not as sober as my ID.
Metro, Orange Line
Washington, DC
Overheard by: funniest Metro ride ever
Confused tourist lady, looking at anime convention kids in costume: Excuse me? Do you know what all of this is about?
Local: Yeah, the whack-job convention is in town.
Confused tourist lady: The…the…”whack-job” convention? (looks at costumes) Whack-jobs?
Local: (smacks forehead and turns away)
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Sarah Boyd
Teen girl eating Fantasy Bar brownie: You want some of my Fantasy Bar?
Male friend, suddenly paying attention: What? Heck yes, it's about time!
Union Station
Washington, DC
