Washington

Man on cell in line at bank, clearly agitated: After what happened last time, you expect me to do that? (pause) What? I can't work with that! (dead silence, then yelling) Look, you motherfucker… I know what the goddamn price of heroin is, and that's not it! (runs away from bank, gets on his 745 BMW)
Customer in line: Did he just say what I think he said?
Teller: I totally heard “heroin.”

Tukwila, Washington

Woman: My legs are burning. But only because I'm putting more pressure on the gravity.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Just Me

Guy: Oh my god, she hates me!
Girl: What? Why?
Guy: Cause I'm the kid who threw a sandwich at her!

Tacoma, Washington

Middle aged woman, casually to friend: And she hasn't worn pants to school since 7th grade.

Woodinville, Washington

Overheard by: The employee washing the window behind them

College freshman girl: Wait… wait… Dinosaurs and vaginas!? (pause) Oh, now I get it!

Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: prefers dinosaurs

Communications professor: There are no stupid questions. If you have a question, that means you don't understand something. If you don't ask the question you will be behind for the day, for the week, semester, and the rest of your life. You will find yourself sucking cheap wine out of a paper bag and sleeping on a grate.

Washington State University
Pullman, Washington

Drunk bus rider #1: Damn, this bus is always so slow!
Drunk bus rider #2: I swear, if I was a wizard, I would turn this bus into a rabbit… But that's fantasy stuff, and I'm not that into fantasy.

Seattle, Washington

30-something large man: That book by George Orwell, 1984, is a prophecy!
Skinny guy sitting next to him: Yeah, yeah, man.
30-something large man: Because in 1985, the government took over, and they were the ones selling all the crack and dope. I would know. I was working for them.

Transit Bus
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: scooting farther away

Girl #1: Are you still going out with that guy you were with back in April?
Girl #2: (blank stare)
Girl #1: The one you were living with?
Girl #2: (blank stare)
Girl #1: The one with the dog?
Girl #2: (blank stare)
Girl #1: Little black dog?
Girl #2: Oh, Jack! Yeah, we're still together.

Bus
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Zoe

College girl in workout gear: No, I don't really like to eat. I mean, I don't really like food. I just have to eat it, you know?
College friend: Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think, you know I could just live off of Gatorade or orange juice or something. You get the same nutrients and stuff from that anyway.
College girl in workout gear: Yeeeeah. Exactly.

Bus
Seattle, Washington