Translation: …Until After We Have Sex

Slightly austistic girl to slightly austistic boyfriend: I just don't want our relationship to be dysfunctional…
Slightly austistic boyfriend: No! No! It won't…

School Bus

Posted on April 3, 2011
Couples, Public transportation, Relationships, Weirdness, Wishes

What? I'm Not Proud Of Myself!

Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.

Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 2, 2011
Animals, Body parts, Girls, Memory lane, Pennsylvania, Weirdness

Further Evidence That It's Damaging to Let Your Kids Watch Too Many Cartoons

Muffled male voice, through the wall, at the end of an increasing crescendo of sex noises: Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats hoooooooooo!

Hotel
Nottingham
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on March 31, 2011
England, Guys, Sex, TV shows, Weirdness

Oooh, Could He Be the Swedish Chef?

Girl to guy: Okay, okay. You can play the waitress, and I'll play the creepy chef who's always trying to rape the waitresses.

Oslo
Norway

Posted on March 30, 2011
Europe, Girls, Offers and requests, Sex, Weirdness

…Preferably That Squirmy, Hairless Guy in the Back Row.

Dumb freshman girl: Why does being castrated make your voice high?
Friar professor: Talk to someone after class.

Seattle University
Washington

Overheard by: facepalm

Posted on March 29, 2011
Body parts, Girls, Questions, Teachers, Washington, Weirdness

Queen Latifah Never Looked Back

Black girl in workout clothes: So I googled it.
Overweight friend: Googled what?
Black girl in workout clothes: The human skeleton is 20% of your body weight.
Overweight friend: So what?
Black girl in workout clothes: Sooo… Without that, I only weigh like a hundred pounds or something.
Overweight friend: (confused look)
Black girl in workout clothes: I'm just saying I'm not fat anymore.

Michigan

Overheard by: It's that simple?

Posted on March 23, 2011
Beauty, Black people, Fat people, Girls, Michigan, Stupidity, Weirdness

…As Some Of You Guessed on the Midterm?

Veterinary pathology professor: The client's Samoyed had puppies, and the last pup came out green. So what happened? Did the bitch get raped by a martian?

Washington State University
Pullman, Washington

Posted on March 23, 2011
Animals, Questions, Teachers, Washington, Weirdness

I'm All, “Cholesterol Be Damned!”

Tenor-voiced guy on cell: So I hung out at the pie shop after that for about half an hour. And I stole a quiche. Yeah, I totally stole it. And a croissant. Just walked up to the counter and bagged them for myself and walked out. It's my reckless streak.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle