Women

Woman #1, washing hands: What happened to your chin?
Woman #2: Oh! Uh, Justin head-butted me.
Woman #1: He what?
Woman #2: Oh, well, not like on purpose or anything, just, like, while we were messing around, or whatever.
Woman #1: Mmmmm…
Woman #2: Yeah, I was in like a bad accident when I was a kid so my face doesn't take blunt force trauma very well since then.

Manhattan, New York

Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah, or I'm gonna get more sicker!
Redneck friend: There's no such thing as “more sicker.” It's a double negative.
Middle aged redneck woman: Yeah! Double sicker!

Oneonta, New York

Overheard by: Caroline

Woman on cell: Uh, yeah, I'm standing in, uh… Old Navy. See you in a bit!

The Gap, Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York

Overheard by: unhappy gapper

Woman browsing through dildos at a sex shop: Do you have any of these that plug in? I run through batteries too fast.

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: Cap

30-something black woman #1: The eye is superficial.
30-something black woman #2: Yeah, like 20-year-old white guys.

Community College
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Madison

Woman #1: So you're going to name your son Jesus?
Woman #2: Why not? People name their kids “Messiah,” and it means the same damn thing.

Alabama

Overheard by: Matthew Roberts

Girl: Whoa…There's a band called “Asia”? Mom, is this what I was named after?
Mother: No, honey.

Branson, Missouri

Asian woman: You know, I'm not normally a lesbian. I was just scoping out the competition last night!

Christchurch
New Zealand

Mother: Where's Germany?
Daughter: There. (points it out on map)
Mother: That's not Germany! That's Germany! (points to Africa)
Daughter: What? Mom, that's Africa. (points to Germany again) This is Germany. And this is Europe…
Mom: Oh.
Daughter: Holy shit, mom.
Mom: Don't judge me!

Renton, Washington

Loud woman to friend: So I said to her, “I gotta go. Linda's avocado is ripe and you know what that means.”

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Taffy Doublewide