Women

Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.

Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Woman: Olivia likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman: Olivia.
Older woman: What about 'er?
Woman: She likes beans.
Older woman: Who likes beans?
Woman (exasperated): Olivia!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: I also like beans

Mom to cashier: And we'll have a water.
Little girl: But I want Pepsi!
Mom: We're getting water Pepsi!
Little girl: Yaaaaay!
Mom, winking at amused cashier: When you have kids of your own, water Pepsi is the greatest invention ever.

Medford, Oregon

Woman on cell: Okay, I might be about to lose you because I'm in an elevator. (pause) I'm in an elevator–how could I be driving?

City College
San Francisco, California

Mother to crying toddler: Shut your mouth and go ski somewhere!

Bear Peak, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Leigh

Curly-haired woman on cell: My advice is to have sex in 90% of all situations.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Poogtastic

Single 30-something woman to friend, as random guy rides by on bike: I would so ride off with him and do anything he wants…unless he's totally into dungeons and shit.

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Steve

Nurse: Is there any chance you're pregnant?
Lady, looking at husband in disgust: No, you have to have sex to get pregnant.
(husband looks at floor and shakes his head)

Hospital
Tennessee

Overheard by: the guy behind you

One-year-old: Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah! (starts whimpering)
Mom: Yeah, it's hard being a baby, isn't it?

Coles Bookstore
Abbotsford, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: girl in line

Woman #1: Having alcoholism isn't like having cancer. People don't like you more for having beat it.
Woman #2: Amen.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania