In Completely Unrelated News, Would You Like Some Homemade Cookies?

Guy passing pet store: I need a Labrador. Let's get one.
Girlfriend: What did you do with your old one?
Guy: I don't think you want to know.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: XPIOTOS

Posted on January 27, 2021
Animals, Australia, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, Weirdness

Now I Go to the Nursing Home and Do That to Grandma

Mom passing rows of whole fish: When I was a little girl, I used to poke their raw eyeballs with my finger!
Little boy: Wow!

Pike Market
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: wow indeed

Posted on January 17, 2021
Animals, Body parts, Default, Hands, Kids, Memory lane, Moms, Tourist attractions, Washington, Weirdness

This Is Why I Divorced Your Father

Mother to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog approaches, starts licking kid's face)
(kid laughs as mother becomes even angrier, then dog begins humping kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Mother, calmly: See? This is what happens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can't lay down on the floor.

Portland, Maine

Posted on December 4, 2020
Advice, Animals, Kids, Maine, Moms, Parenting, Sex, Should have used a condom

How You Know It's Time to Call Jenny

Mother to three-year-old son: Can I call you “my dear”?
Three-year-old son: Can I call you “my moose”?

Austin, Texas

Posted on November 15, 2020
Animals, Moms, Names, Offers and requests, Should have used a condom, Texas

…Bowser

Little boy to grandma: Once, when I was camping, I sat on my biscuits, then I put my biscuits on a rock and ate them like a dog.
Grandma: Oh, uh… That's nice…

Australia