Mother to child: You need to get up off the floor.
Kid: No!
(small dog approaches, starts licking kid's face)
(kid laughs as mother becomes even angrier, then dog begins humping kid)
Kid: Get him off me, get him off me!
Mother, calmly: See? This is what happens when you lie on the floor. This is why we can't lay down on the floor.
Portland, Maine
Mother to three-year-old son: Can I call you “my dear”?
Three-year-old son: Can I call you “my moose”?
Austin, Texas
Man to girlfriend: I love you like a raccoon loves shiny things.
Anchorage, Alaska
Pilot over intercom after rough landing: Whooaa, Nessie! (makes galloping sound) Easy, girl! (makes baaing sound) Whoops, wrong animal.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: kayla
Professor, about megafauna: I would love to have a giant beaver.
GWU Archaeology lecture
Washington, DC
Girl: Do you ever get the feeling we're, like, related to monkeys?
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
Leather-clad guy to another: I’ll lend you my iguana. It’ll save you money.
Sheffield
England
Overheard by: chris
