Arizona

Guy on phone: So what are we doing after bible study? Beers? Ladies?

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Tiffany

Chick: Today sucks. I failed my math test and I smell like meat products.

Arizona

Student: What are you eating?
Teacher: My bracelet… it’s made of anti-depressants.

Tucson, Arizona

20-something trendy gangster: I'm just there for looks, you know? (pause) I'm like the sculpture of David, chiseled and beautiful.

University of Arizona

Chick: So, what’s so special about this phone other than making millions of people shit their pants simultaneously?
Guy: It hasn’t got any buttons, or some-such. It can tell who you want to call by reading your mind. Also, it smells like flowers and tastes like bacon. Which is handy, since it can regrow its own skin. And fly.
Chick: Well, I’ll be.

Scottsdale, Arizona

Overheard by: I did NOT shit my pants.

Customer, bursting through door: Is there a gentleman here named “male libido?”
Bartender: Yep!

Prescott, Arizona

Overheard by: The Colinator

Mom in bathroom stall: Okay Michael, come on, you have to pee.
Son: Mom, I don't wanna play games with you!
Mom: What is wrong with you? At least put your clothes back on if you're not going to pee!

Tempe, Arizona

Boy: I should be a rent-a-cop.
Girl #1, laughing: You'd be the least believable rent-a-cop ever.
Girl #2: Yeah, they might mistake you for a gay stripper.

Tempe, Arizona

Freshman: Are Arby’s sandwiches any good?
Junior: Arby’s sandwiches are Jesus Christ!

Gilbert High School
Gilbert, Arizona

Bimbette: Sex makes everything so complicated. Seriously, I’m going back to being a virgin.
Friend: Honey, you’re never going to be a virgin again. It’s impossible.
Bimbette: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!

Tucson, Arizona