Asians

Young Asian cop easing old Asian man out of police car: My first day on the beat and already I'm finding out about and busting illegal Mahjong parlors! I didn't know they existed!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McF

Preppy white boy: You're both women, and you're Asian! How can you have messy handwriting??
Professor: Wait, did I really just hear that?

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: The non-asian woman

Buff Asian kid, squinting at label on microscope: Made in… Douche-land? What the fuck is douche-land?

Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California

Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Isn’t “Balls!” such a great expression? It’s just so… you know… I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting “Balls!” at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Balls!

www.overheardatyale.com

Overheard by: overheardatyale

Professor walking through the hall: Well I guess I’d have to be spanked then.
Asian grad student: That’s why they’re called “accidents”!

University of Illinois

Asian chick: Oh my god, this huge, fat-ass raindrop just fell on my head.
Friend: You’re a huge, fat-ass raindrop! You’re such a fat-ass raindrop, you make people over-hydrated!
Asian chick, shocked: There’s no such thing as over-hydrated! You just pee a lot!

Muirlands Middle School
La Jolla, California

Asian girl in bright coat: Oh my fucking god, I think I just lost my virginity.
Blonde girl: Wait, how does that even work?
Asian girl in bright coat: The end of the teeter-totter seat is like totally up my ass, and it's like penetrating.
Blonde girl: Oh.

Calgary
Canadia

Overheard by: Shawn

Asian guy: I hate going there. There’s too many Asian people. I hate being around so many Asian people. It feels too foreign.
Asian friend, holding two Japanese language books: Yeah.

Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Kunoichi

Blonde wife: You do realize that our son is going to tell his schoolmates that Jesus is either a zombie or a vampire. Then we are going to have to explain to his teacher that we are Jewish.
Asian husband: And that you are just bad at explaining things?

Houston, Texas

Asian chick: If I wasn’t wearing underwear I definitely would have let him slide his hand up my butt.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/reticent.html

Overheard by: doug