Thugette #1: Girl, you slept wif him?!
Thugette #2: I know — he ugly and got crabs, but I made him buy me drugs first.
Thugette #1: True dat.
Campus shuttle, Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Steveo
Archive for the ‘Black people’ Category
They’re Like the IPhones Of People!
Tall black girl with fauxhawk: I don’t know why everyone doesn’t have an Asian fetish! They’re pocket sized and stunning!
New Haven, Connecticut
How Prince Charming Ended Up with a Glass Slipper Up His Ass
Ghetto chick: It’s 10 minutes to midnight — I’m ’bout to turn into a bitch.
Magic Stick
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Swells
Especially If I’m Saying, “Faster…Harder…God…Ohhh”
Black guy to friends: I swear, every time I start talking to a girl she gets pregnant. (pause) Fo’ real.
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: You must have been doing more than talking
Not the Demographic to Fear in Colorado
Girl #1: Why does Denzel Washington with a gun freak me out?
Girl #2: Because he’s black.
Movie Theater
Colorado
Twenty-Year-Old White Guys: That Hurts. Let’s Have Sex!
30-something black woman #1: The eye is superficial.
30-something black woman #2: Yeah, like 20-year-old white guys.
Community College
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Madison
A+
Black student, casually: Wait, let me get this straight: he was going to participate, but he was late, so he decided to hate, and that’s what started this debate?
Teacher, baffled: Did you just rap that at me?
Columbia College Fiction Department
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
Hey, That Was Just a Freak Picnicking Accident
Black chick: I’m sorry — I don’t have relations with inanimate objects!
Black guy: A rock is not inanimate…
Florida State University
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Iniego Strangelove
Cunt Remember a Thing
Pretty black girlfriend with super long hair: I have no vaginal memory.
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Spelled “Shove On”
Blonde: Ohhh my god! How adorable is he! [Her two friends agree, cooing.]Baby daddy holding infant: Thank you, girls.
Blonde: Can I hold him?
Baby daddy: Yeah, sure… Here you go.
Blonde: Awww, I love him! What’s his name?
Baby daddy: Uhhh… Shit, I know this… Shavon? Shavawn?
Blonde: You don’t even know your son’s name?!
Baby daddy: Shoot, I did earlier. Shavon! Yeah… That’s it. Damn, and I helped name this one, too.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: hot child in the city
